Why a Saturday Mom Joke? Because recent events that have dominated the news have been really…well, I think we could all use a laugh… Chores Little Rodney comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said Rodney. His mother tells him no…
Category: Mom Jokes
Mom Jokes: The Power of A Wife’s Love
A man was in his death bed, counting down his last hours with no hope and nothing left to live for. But then he began to smell the wonderful scent of his wife’s cookies—–his favorite food on Earth—–which seemed to magically lift his spirits. Slowly, he got out of bed and practically crawled down the…
Mom Jokes: Grandfathers Don’t Know Everything
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked: “Grandpa, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?” His Grandpa was a little…
Mom Joke: Will the Senator Choose Heaven or Hell?
A recently-deceased senator’s soul was outside the pearly gates of heaven. A representative from Saint Peter’s office came out to greet him and explain his decision. “You will be given one day in hell and one day in heaven. You will see which one you like better, and then make your choice.” The senator said…
Mom Jokes: The Pharmacist
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I’d like to buy some cyanide.” The Pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The Pharmacist’s eyes grew big and he…
Mom Jokes: Wrong Pills
My wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will assist me to get an erection. You should have seen her face when I came back and gave her some diet pills. I’m now looking for a place to live…
Mom Jokes: Other People’s Thoughts
Joke Subtitle: The Pastor’s Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he…
Mom Jokes: Who’s In Charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. “I should be in charge,” said the brain , “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood , “Because I circulate oxygen all…
Mom Jokes: Board of Directors
Schwartz, Cohen, and Ginsberg, were all close friends since childhood. They decided they wanted to go into business together. Schwartz says “All right, I’ll invest 100,000.” Cohen says “Okay, I’ll invest 200,000.” Ginsberg says “Well, I’ll put in 1,000.” Cohen says “If I’m putting in 200,000 I’ll be the president and CEO of the corporation. Schwartz,…
Mom Jokes: Will You Live to See 80?
An old woman was exhaustively tested by her new doctor. He told the 70-year-old that she was “Doing well for her age.” A little concerned about that comment, she asked him “Do you think I’ll live to see 80?” He asked her “Do you smoke tobacco or marijuana? Drink beer, wine, or hard liquor?” “Oh…
Mom Jokes: The Revenge of the Wives
We do a lot of marriage jokes in this section, and quite a few deal with men who have been…not so happily married for decades. Well, today’s it’s the wife’s turn… He said: I don’t know why you wear a bra, you’ve got nothing to put in it. She said: Why do you wear pants?…
Mom Jokes: Grandfathers Don’t Know Everything
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked: ‘Grandpa, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?’ His Grandpa was a little…
Mom Jokes: The Radio
Thank you for the radio…… Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who teaches at Pine Street Elementary in Spartanburg , SC forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at…