Category Archives: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

“Cars 3” Reviewed by a Critic that Actually Likes This Franchise

Is there a more underrated franchise out there than “Cars?” The first film was terrific, but is usually ranked in the middle-of-the-pack or towards the bottom when people begin comparing Pixar titles, and “Cars 2” is usually (wrongly) labeled “the worst Pixar film.” Even on Rotten Tomatoes, people seem surprised that they actually liked “Cars… Read More »

Movie Review: Wonder Woman

Once you get past the exaggerated praise (that feels more about what’s happening outside the theater than anything shown in the movie), it’s a solid superhero movie that’s at least as good as anything Marvel  (or DC) has put out since “The Dark Knight” trilogy ended. What Works: Most critics have somewhat-myopically focused on “Wonder Woman”… Read More »

Movie Review: Captain Underpants

The title of “Captain Underpants: The First Epic Adventure” is either a hopeful promise of sequels or a threat of more early Nickeldeon-esque inanity depending on how much you liked this first installment. Like the titular hero (the brainwashed alter ego of a joyless, so-miserable-he’s-angry principal), I was somewhat divided watching it: I enjoyed long… Read More »

Movie Reviews: “War Machine” and “The Wizard of Lies”

Sadly, people are debating about whether to release any movie smaller than “Transformers”-size in a theater at all. Some argue that small and mid-size movies will be seen by a wider audience if they just stream on various platforms or Video-On Demand, but to me that would basically symbolize the death of independent cinema and… Read More »

Movie Review: King Arthur

“King Arthur” holds the dubious distinction of being “Summer 2017’s First Big Flop.” Uhhh…congratulations? To celebrate, what do you get the movie who has nothing, including dismal reviews, bad box office, and its franchise hopes dashed? How about a mild Alabama Liberal review that points out what the movie does right? I’m just kidding, this… Read More »

Movie Review: “The Circle” When A Movie Can’t Properly Adapt A Great Book

A perfect example of why a movie reviewer should avoid reading the book a movie is based on–if they can–because I probably would’ve enjoyed this film (about an omnipotent tech company) much more if I hadn’t read the book. It’s true that when you really, really love a book that no movie can really adapt… Read More »

Movie Review: “The Fate of the Furious”…Does Charlize Theron Owe Back Taxes?

Life’s biggest questions: Is there a God?…What happens when you die?…What is the secret to life?…Why are “The Fast and the Furious” movies popular? Answers: Concepts of “God” are structured around an all-knowing and guiding being, and the creation of life (and millenniums of evolution) was probably much more random than that…I really doubt there… Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

The box office is huge, the reviews are ecstatic, and the Cinemascore grade from audiences is an “A.” So it’s safe to say nearly anyone will really love this movie, and even if I thought it was only good rather than great, that’s no small thing at all considering I haven’t truly loved any Marvel property…ever, and am just… Read More »

Movie Review: Logan Vs. King Kong Skull Island

In this landscape of Disney remakes, unasked for Power Rangers reboots, uncalled for Fast and Furious sequels, and even a–oh, what the fuck?–R-rated, kitchen-sink CHIPS remake it may look like Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. Even a technically new idea like the sci-fi thriller “Life” looks cobbled together out of 100 “astronauts run… Read More »