Category Archives: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer

Movie Review: King Arthur

“King Arthur” holds the dubious distinction of being “Summer 2017’s First Big Flop.” Uhhh…congratulations? To celebrate, what do you get the movie who has nothing, including dismal reviews, bad box office, and its franchise hopes dashed? How about a mild Alabama Liberal review that points out what the movie does right? I’m just kidding, this… Read More »

Movie Review: “The Circle” When A Movie Can’t Properly Adapt A Great Book

A perfect example of why a movie reviewer should avoid reading the book a movie is based on–if they can–because I probably would’ve enjoyed this film (about an omnipotent tech company) much more if I hadn’t read the book. It’s true that when you really, really love a book that no movie can really adapt… Read More »

Movie Review: “The Fate of the Furious”…Does Charlize Theron Owe Back Taxes?

Life’s biggest questions: Is there a God?…What happens when you die?…What is the secret to life?…Why are “The Fast and the Furious” movies popular? Answers: Concepts of “God” are structured around an all-knowing and guiding being, and the creation of life (and millenniums of evolution) was probably much more random than that…I really doubt there… Read More »

Monday Morning Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy 2

The box office is huge, the reviews are ecstatic, and the Cinemascore grade from audiences is an “A.” So it’s safe to say nearly anyone will really love this movie, and even if I thought it was only good rather than great, that’s no small thing at all considering I haven’t truly loved any Marvel property…ever, and am just… Read More »

Movie Review: Logan Vs. King Kong Skull Island

In this landscape of Disney remakes, unasked for Power Rangers reboots, uncalled for Fast and Furious sequels, and even a–oh, what the fuck?–R-rated, kitchen-sink CHIPS remake it may look like Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. Even a technically new idea like the sci-fi thriller “Life” looks cobbled together out of 100 “astronauts run… Read More »

“Get Out” IS Racist, but Towards Interracial Couples

The buzz and controversy of “Get Out” is deafening, but the few–too few–criticisms the movie appears to be getting is that it’s anti-white or racist towards white people. I don’t really believe that, and there’s little in this movie that hasn’t been in “Machete” or Blaxploitation films, but the film is anti-interracial couples and in that way… Read More »

Why “Moonlight” is Really Good, but “La La Land” is Better

Quick Note About Last Night’s Oscars: I nailed literally all the big categories except Best Picture, correctly predicting Mahershala Ali, Viola Davis, Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Moonlight’s Best Adapted Screenplay, Manchester by the Sea’s Best Original Screenplay, Zootopia, and Damien Chazelle’s Best Director win. So some of this post may be affected by “Moonlight” screwing up my prediction… Read More »