So this weekend I performed a rite of passage for anyone interested in serious junk food (we’ll call them “junk foodies” no, no, no, too gay, how about “fudge packers?”) and went to Coney Island, New York’s version of an extremely dirty Six Flags. I didn’t much go on the rides, since I don’t often…
Category: The Fast Food Critic
The Fast Food Critic: The Evil Genius of Burger King’s B-A-C-O-N Sundae
So earlier in the year, Burger King—-in an effort to stop sliding sales—-momentarily stopped focusing on calorie bomb foods for young men trying to get over a hangover and actually tried to court eaters that don’t want a weekend’s worth of calories in one meal by rolling out some fresh fruit smoothies and salads and…
Fast Food Critic: A Book Event with the Author of “Drop Dead Healthy”
Of the last few weeks, no item has been more neglected than The Fast Food Critic, and for that I’m sorry. Especially since there has been plenty of recent developments in the food/health industries lately. Not least of which is the publication of A.J. Jacobs’s new book “Drop Dead Healthy.” Some might remember A.J. Jacobs…
The Fast Food Critic: Red State Food vs. Blue State Food (Food Goes Partisan)
Before anyone thinks I’ve done so many new articles lately that they’re running together and I really meant this to appear in the debate section, let me assure you I haven’t made a mistake (this time). As I pointed out last week while recapping the lessons I’d learned doing all of the different segments, something very…
Everything The Fast Food Critic Taught Me in the Last Year
Going along with this week’s anniversary trend of recapping some of the lessons I learned doing the various segments comes this “Top 5” lessons list from The Fast Food Critic. Lesson 5: 9 Times Out of 10, The More Ingredients Something Has the Worse It is For You. That’s not always an ironclad rule, but…
Fast Food Critic: McDonald’s Removes “Pink Slime” From Hamburgers…Wait, There Was Pink Slime?
There isn’t a whole lot of news every week that comes from major fast food chains, and there is virtually NO news from them that is positive. However, McDonald’s defied that expectation this week by announcing that it hasn’t used ammonium hydroxide in its hamburgers since August of last year, and that ammonium hydroxide is…
High Fructose Corn Syrup, the Crystal Meth of Food
I want you to imagine the worst drug you can think of. Unlike marijuana (or sugar), it’s made from chemicals not naturally found in nature. It pops up in unexpected places. Ten years ago, you’d never heard of it, and now it’s virtually everywhere. Even your kids are at risk of getting hooked, and several…
The Fall of Queen Deen: Public (Health) Enemy Number 1 Paula Deen Has Diabetes. In Other News, Sun is Hot
In today’s Fast Food Critic segment we’re doing something a little different…we’re taking somebody down who desperately needs it. For those that haven’t heard, Mega-celebrity chef and spokesperson for lard Paula Deen announced this week that she has diabetes AND has had it for three years. Surprising perhaps only those that have never taken a…
The Fast Food Critic: A New Year With…No Fa(s)t Food? Let’s Kick Bad Food Together
As much as I love this particular segment of the site, in year two we might be forced to have change it a little bit. Where “Year One AL” (as I have pretentiously decided to call it) found The Fast Food Critic scarfing down various horrible-for-you foods and reviewing, say, side effects of Burger King’s…
The Fast Food Critic Reviews Boston Market
In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, I decided to go on the hunt for the best possible Thanksgiving meal someone could get from a fast casual or fast food restaurant chain (quite a qualifier that is kind-of like saying the best possible college education you can get online). The list was pretty short as virtually no…
The Fast Food Critic: Chipotle Burritos
Today I review something that really suffers from exaggerated expectations. On the one hand, Chipotle burritos do taste pretty good…on the other hand they DON’T taste ten dollars good (Moe’s offers the exact same burrito for less plus you get chips). Also on the other hand, is minimal taste satisfaction enough to counteract the stat…
The Fast Food Critic: Reviewing Dave’s Hot and Juicy
Now before you think The Fast Food Critic has switched from reviewing greasy, disease filled food to greasy, disease filled pornography, that title is actually accurate as Dave’s Hot and Juicy isn’t the title of the world’s worst porno (featuring Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas), it’s what Wendy’s new hamburgers are called. Starting last week, the…
The Fast Food Critic: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts
Today I review one of the most honored Southern traditions this side of college football: the Krispy Kreme Doughnut. Sure, they may not be as popular as they once were (thanks Dr. Atkins, you no-carb gobbling shit eel) but they still command a pretty large following among doughnut connoisseurs. Because, well, let’s be honest, Dunkin’…