In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, I decided to go on the hunt for the best possible Thanksgiving meal someone could get from a fast casual or fast food restaurant chain (quite a qualifier that is kind-of like saying the best possible college education you can get online). The list was pretty short as virtually no fast casual chains serve Thanksgiving style food. While Boston Market practically has the market to itself, one is overwhelmed with choices when it comes to, say, Mexican food (Chipotle, Moe’s, Qdoba, Taco Bell, etc…I mean how many different ways can somebody really slap meat into a tortilla?). So I decided to go with a chicken meal dinner with macaroni, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole for sides, a cherry coke for a drink, and, of course, pumpkin pie for dessert.
While You’re Eating It: Wonderful. Wonderful might be overstating it if you aren’t naturally inclined to this type of food, but I grew up eating this type of stuff and didn’t really realize I even missed it until eating this. Oh shit…the FF critic is getting misty…and talking about himself in the third person…look away as I cry into my pumpkin pie…
After You’re Done: Bloated but satisfied. Most fast food meals (like, well, all of them) make you feel greasy and disgusted with yourself after you’re done–in a previous life I swear McDonald’s was a prostitute, that’s the only way to account for the guilt you feel after you give the cashier your money–but I didn’t really feel that way after Boston Market. I know that technically its “healthy” food of processed potatoes loaded with cheese and bacon bits is no healthier than a Big Mac, but it sure doesn’t make you feel as bad either.
Impotence Level: It’s relatively low but I was too busy going on a nostalgia trip and getting into the Thanksgiving spirit to really notice.
Heart Attack Level from 1 to 5: Maybe a 2.5…Boston Market has healthy options but, let’s be honest, nobody really gets those. If you’re the kind of wimpy douche bag that would get a side salad at Boston Market, you’re probably not eating at Boston Market.
Pumpkin pies sure are good.