Category: Petty Issues

The luckiest man in Michigan (which is a little like the World’s Tallest Midget) won a million dollar cash lottery for the second time. The real money: when he writes a book called “How to Win the Lottery” and a million suckers buy it. There was a story about the last Jew in Afghanistan and…

There was a shooting in a Detroit barbershop that left three dead….Let’s see you turn that into comedy gold Cedric the Entertainer! The gauntlet has been thrown. Taylor Swift says her fans are always nice and never say mean things…Well it’s great that someone’s fans aren’t calling them a cunt to their face, but isn’t…

Obama’s poll numbers hit a record low but something tells me he doesn’t much give a shit. I suspect he has a “Countdown to Leaving Hell” calendar set for the exact day he leaves office, and has already written his “I’m getting too old for this shit” leaving office speech. Kim Kardashian was proposed to…

A billboard in West Lubbock Texas is inspiring “controversy” because it has a tattooed Jesus Christ helping people with their sins. So the big debate is between people that are really, really religious and tattooed and people that are really, really religious without tattoos. Wow, what diversity of thought we have in this country… Law…

The bad news: Shots were fired outside the U.S. Capitol building…The worse news: No Tea Party members were hit. Bitcoin was apparently used on a black-market website called The Silk Road, and since the authorities raided the site and arrested its founder it has dropped Bitcoin’s valuation nearly 20 percent. Right…uhhh…I totally understand how Bitcoin works and…

Floyd Mayweather won another fight in a decision against a handpicked opponent most people have never heard of, and now the big question turns to who he’ll fight next. My guess? His toughest opponent yet: a new form of Gonorrhea. Wheel of Fortune recently denied a man a chance at a million dollars because he…

After months of casting hype, the 50 Shades of Grey movie finally has its two lead stars…Is it Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (as E.L. James originally wanted, these books started as Twilight fan fiction, after all)? Nope…Is it Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt? Nope…Is it Chris Evans and Shailene Woodley at least?! Nope…It’s…drum roll…

Miley Cyrus made “news” (celebrity news) this week when she danced erratically on-stage with an understandably uncomfortable Robin Thicke while making Jim Carrey-circa-1995 faces with an enormous drunken teddy bear in the background. Somewhere, Billy Ray Cyrus is wondering why he wasn’t asked to play the teddy bear. Against all odds, Donald Trump’s online University,…

Some weeks just seem a little drearier than others, and this week certainly took the cake… 5. Bradley Manning, the whistle-blower who leaked all those documents to Wikileaks announced that he’s really a woman trapped in a man’s body, and he now wants to be called Chelsea Manning. I swear I’m not making this shit…

Angus T. Jones of Two-and-a-Half-Men infamy (although approximately no one was watching the show because they were such a fan of him…even fans of the show would probably say “Angus T. Who?”) was let go from the show and demoted to a possible recurring character instead of a series regular, most likely because he made…

And now for something completely different…a run-down of how all the big late night hosts reacted to Leno leaving The Tonight Show…[In order of preference] 5. Jimmy Kimmel’s response was surprisingly not-nasty, and even a little tame… “It is a big one for the world of late-night television. As you probably heard, it was announced officially…

The Central African Republican experienced a coup by rebels last week, as their president fled to Cameroon (although some reports say he didn’t stay there long and will eventually seek exile in Benin). And yet the media barely covered it. Although I can see where they might not have time to talk about it, what…