Petty Issues: Capitol Shots, Tea Party (Brain)farts, Bitcoin Drops, London NFL Team Scoffs

By | October 3, 2013

The bad news: Shots were fired outside the U.S. Capitol building…The worse news: No Tea Party members were hit.

Bitcoin was apparently used on a black-market website called The Silk Road, and since the authorities raided the site and arrested its founder it has dropped Bitcoin’s valuation nearly 20 percent. Right…uhhh…I totally understand how Bitcoin works and everything, but let’s just say I didn’t…let’s just say someone–some idiot, didn’t really understand how a virtual currency used on a website could drop when that website is raided. If that were case, how would you–I mean, we explain it to them?

Sinead O’Connor wrote an open letter to Miley Cyrus saying that the music industry doesn’t care about her and are only exploiting Miley for her looks. Three questions: 1. Can you exploit someone who’s willing and constantly told to tone it down or risk looking crazy? 2. Isn’t it really sexist to assume that someone as comfortable with their body as Miley is is somehow being tricked into it? That there’s just no possible way they could be the one driving the train and controlling their own image and, gasp, enjoying what they’re doing? 3. When did the music industry (or anybody) ever exploit Sinead O’Connor for her looks?

Talk of moving an NFL team to London (where supposedly two million fans are obsessed with the sport) is gaining traction. The likeliest candidate? The Jacksonville Jaguars…Except that the fans in London don’t want them. It’s pretty bad when you’re willing to move your team overseas (the first time that’s happened) and fans are still like “Nah, we’ll watch it on TV.” Next Stop: The Kabul Jaguars…

Asshole of the Week: Tea Party congressman Todd Rokita. This guy gave an interview to CNN’s Carol Costello where he said, and I quote: “I don’t know if you have children. I’m sure you don’t have grandchildren — you look much too young. We’re fighting for them.” Then said later in the interview “You’re beautiful but you have to be honest…” C-R-E-E-P. Costello looked visibly (and understandably) uncomfortable with the congressman focusing on her looks to the point of basically saying the coded-equivalent of “Why don’t you shut your mouth and look pretty?” or “You’re so ugly when you talk.” Then he defended taking a salary for himself while other federal workers aren’t able to get one.

Rokita, I am really pretty, and really honest when I call you an a-s-s-h-o-l-e

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