Since the media seems baffled at why people love Joe Biden, I thought I would help them out and explain it… Trump’s March 6th: 1. Wears tacky campaign garb during pandemic tour (what a branding opportunity!). 2. Goes out of his way to insult and cast paranoia on competent Gov. of state with highest cases,…
Category: Larger Editorials
The Supreme Court had to save an innocent man because Kay Ivey would not
Once again, Alabama is in the national news. And just like the wild senate race between disgraced pedophile Roy Moore and unemployed ex-Trump bootlicker Jeff Sessions, it was not for something positive. Civil Rights activists had been begging Alabama’s notoriously hard-hearted Governor and closet day-time drunk Kay Ivey to stop the execution of Nathaniel Woods….
Who Will Each Candidate Choose as Their VP? And Who They Should Choose
The Also-Rans…For this group, it doesn’t really matter who I think they’ll pick because they have no chance of being the nominee. That being said, I still put some time into thinking about it. Tulsi Gabbard…Who She Would Pick: Probably Bernie Sanders or someone even older and far more irrelevant like Mike Gravel. Who She…
Live-Blogging Yet Another Democratic Debate
5:00 p.m. …Here we are America, another fucking debate. I know you are all staying home Friday night just to watch a New Hampshire debate in February. 5:05 p.m. …First question to Joe Biden about why he’s more electable than Bernie Sanders or Pete Buttigieg. I do believe he is, but Biden has to downplay…
Iowa Clusterfuck
“Iowa, you have shocked the nation.”–Pete Buttigieg Truer words were never spoken, although not for the reasons Buttigieg may have meant. Iowa once again unleashed an 18-layer clusterfuck cake in the results for their caucasian-caucus (CNN correspondents showed various caucus sites around the state, and I almost got snow-blindness from all the bland, pasty crowds)….
How is it Rigged Against Bernie when He Gets Special Treatment?
AL attempts to offer up the Big Question: how can Sanders’s fans say it’s rigged against Bernie when he’s getting unprecedented treatment while not being a Democrat? …And has there ever before been a case where someone refused to pay dues to an organization while demanding to lead it?
Unpopular Vote: There’s no conspiracy against Tulsi Gabbard but there is one FOR her
AL looks at Gabbard–a socially regressive, unpopular, relatively obscure congresswoman–and her suspiciously strong online support.
Stop Saying Hillary Outspent Trump
This may not be the most relevant thing to talk about two weeks before the Iowa primary, but I just get so infuriated when people say “Well, Hillary raised more money than Trump—so money can’t buy victory.” I absolutely HATE when Republicans keep bringing up that Clinton raised more money than Trump, and I have…
All I Want for Christmas is…Trump’s Removal From Office
Dear Santa, I hope you and Mrs. Claus are doing well. [What is her name by the way? She should have a name. I want to recommend “Ashanti Claus.”] Hopefully, all is well with the North Pole–which I hear is suffering heavily from climate crisis–and bless the Elf Labor Union as well. It may seem…
Mr. Robot’s Most Daring Feature: A Chinese Villain
[Note about spoilers: There are only the vaguest possible spoilers for the series finale–and all season four spoilers are only in the first two paragraphs. This article isn’t about that.] “Mr. Robot” is hands-down the most audacious Drama on television (sorry Damon Lindelof, I know you try). Any given episode can feature head trips, fake…
Live-Blogging the December Debate (And Ranking/Grading the Candidates)
4:58 p.m….Are you ready for some debaaaaate! CNN literally says “Debate Pre-Show…Moments Away: Democrats Face Off in High-Stakes Debate.” Ohhhhh…dramatic. 4:59 p.m. We’re seeing live footage of the candidates scribbling notes at the podium. Riveting stuff 5:01 p.m. An introduction of the moderators, who I have never heard of… 5:01 p.m. Introducing the candidates–who are…
What Would Trump’s 2nd Term Look Like?
This seems like a strange question to ask on the day after Trump became only the third U.S. President to be impeached, and most people are so terrified of this possibility they might secretly curse me just for speaking it into existence. Please understand that I’m not saying he’ll be reelected and I damn sure…
What Would a Tulsi Gabbard Presidency Look Like?
Okay, so Tulsi Gabbard isn’t even remotely in the top 5, and if you want serious predictions, please check out the other articles in this series… –Dosvedanya comrades. “I can see Russia from my White House…because this is Putin’s summer home.” Vladimir Putin would very quickly reabsorb Ukraine, and Gabbard wouldn’t lift a finger to…