I took down the Battle flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door and bumper of car. Then I disconnected the home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. Bought two Iranian flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Mom Jokes: What Causes Arthritis?
A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to…
Mom Jokes: Who is the Easiest Patient to Operate On?
Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on: First surgeon: I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. Second surgeon: You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded. Third surgeon: No, I really think librarians are the…
Mom Jokes: A Lawyer Vs. a Teacher
A lawyer and a public city school teacher are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that teachers are so dumb that he could get one over on one easily. So, the lawyer asks if the teacher would like to play a fun game. The teacher is tired and just wants…
Mom Jokes: Are You From Scotland or Wales?
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accents sounded Scottish to me, and I approached them and asked, “Hi! Are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot!” So I apologized to them, replying, “I am so very sorry!…
Mom Jokes: Overpopulation…
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to…
Mom Jokes: My Trip to the Store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally…
Mom Jokes: The Trooper
A North Carolina State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car parked in the local lovers’ lane with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer…
Announcing Alabama Liberal’s FIVE Year Celebration!
The site isn’t a baby anymore, so to celebrate this milestone, I’ll be offering up a week full of posts…starting with 24 hours of Mom Jokes. [Because who doesn’t need a laugh with the possibility of President Cruz or Trump on the horizon?] I’m going to be posting something (article, joke, review, picture, podcast, animal, vegetable,…
Wish I Could Give Two Shits About the Super-Bowl…
“Who are you for: Denver or Carolina?”–A real question asked during the GOP debate. Ben Carson—of all people–gave the most diplomatic answer with “I can predict with 100% certainty that either Denver or Carolina will win the game.” And even thought that was an unusual moment for Carson—if the dude has a joke that actually…
Live-Blogging ANOTHER GOP Debate…This is a Full-Time Job
Another GOP debate? This is becoming a full-time job… 5:20–Ben Carson is refusing to walk out on stage…for some reason. Bizarre protest… 5:22–Trump joins him, because, “ehhhh, what the hell?” 5:25–Trump is defending his foreign policy credentials and against Cruz attacks. 5:26–Ben Carson goes after Ted Cruz for very dirty tricks. Good for him. He’s still a…
Why Do Candidates Care So Damn Much if They Won Iowa?
I don’t know about the rest of the political blogging community, but I’m a little “Iowa-ed” out. I thought the state was supposed to disappear shortly after the caucus results were announced, like it does every year. Let’s be honest, Iowa is kind-of the weird relative of states. “No, I’ll be back before the next…
Live-Blogging Yet ANOTHER Goddamn Debate…
6:15…Sorry I’m coming to the party late, but this Democratic debate was something of a surprise to me. Especially since they just had a “Town Hall” last night… 6:17…Hillary came to play today. 6:17…Goes after Bernie by saying “he doesn’t think Obama, Biden, me, or anyone else in congress is progressive enough. Who’s left?” 6:20…Rachel…