Mom Jokes: How to Be Safe–This One is REALLY Good

By | February 8, 2016

I took down the Battle flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door and bumper of car. Then I disconnected the home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

Bought two Iranian flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center also purchased on eBay. Went to feed store and bought fertilizer and five gallons of gas for mower.

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

Now everywhere we go, we have two people behind us at all times. Feel like I just won the Presidential Election.

I’ve never felt safer and we’re saving $49.95 a month.

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