“What do M&Ms have to do with fast food?”–New readers might say if they are unfamiliar with The Fast Food Critic’s insistence on reviewing different types of food that’s bad for you. It’s not all KFC buffets and Pizza Hut double-decker pepperoni cheese crust folks. It’s October time, and that means we’re going to be…
Category: Wednesday
Fair Foods, Part 2 (Cheese Curds, Red Velvet Funnel Cake, Fried Burritos, and More)
A continuation of Minnesota’s State Fair foods review… A five dollar glass of lemonade…Not so much unhealthy as it is “What the fuck am I paying five dollars for when this cost them a nickel to make?” There’s insane mark-up (theater popcorn), and then there’s wallet rape. Grade for taste: B…Heart Attack O-Meter: 1…
Fast Food Critic: State Fair Foods, Part 1 (Deep Fried Snickers, Pork Chop Sticks, etc.)
The “Part 1” of that title is either a threat or a promise depending on your perspective on nasty, greasy, unhygienic things, but enough about the people of rural Minnesota who showed up in droves for the fair…Recently, I had the pleasure/displeasure of sampling some of the worst calorie bombs around at the Minnesota State…
The “Duck Dynasty” Gang are the Ultimate Hypocrites/Rich Assholes of the Month
I know I haven’t been keeping up with the Rich Asshole of the Month section, but sometimes a special case just reaches out and demands your attention. August’s Rich Asshole of the Month just couldn’t be ignored… I’m choosing the Robertson family from A&E’s unexplainably popular Duck Dynasty. [They recently received a raise to where…
Fast Food Critic: Watermelon Oreos
For a limited time only, Oreo is releasing these beauties, which use a golden (vanilla wafer) oreo cookie instead of a chocolate one and a pink and green filling twisted into the shape of the inside of a watermelon. While You’re Eating Them: They’re basically a Starburst sandwiched in-between two Teddy Grahams. After You’re Done:…
Now That Mark Sanford is Back…Can Somebody Good Be Next?
Last week, I wrote an article about Mark Sanford’s big comeback. He was re-elected to his old congressional seat (the one he occupied before becoming an infamous Governor) beating no less than Stephen Colbert’s sister. But now what? By all accounts the once-and-future congressman will cause friction for the RNC, who refused to back him…
Now What…Anthony Weiner is Back and Ready to Earn Your Vote
When the fallout of Anthony Weiner’s non-sex “sex” scandal forced him to drop out of office, I was dead against it. Others disagreed but, to me, this was yet one more example of a competent, highly motivated politician who was forced into an unwitting morality clause. What does Eliot Spitzer’s sex life have to do…
Fast Food Critic: What’s the Best Food Documentary? “Jiro Dreams of Sushi”
Ordinarily the Fast Food Critic talks about greasy lard burgers or the best ways to kill yourself by eating some scummy new “Pizza” from Pizza Hut, but I decided to take a different approach today. I wanted to recommend the single best food documentary I’ve ever seen. It’s not a “Don’t eat this!” documentary (although…
The Pope Was Never Going to be Black, Because The Catholic Church Will Never Change
I couldn’t help but laugh when so many people were falling for the recent P.R. ruse of the Catholic Church pretending it was going to actually elect Peter Turkson (a cardinal from Ghana) as Pope. In my eyes, it was no different than when the Romney campaign “leaked” the suggestion that they were “considering” Condelezza…
WCE: Glenn Beck Announces Plans for His Own Country…Is Beck Really that Crazy or Just that Rich?
Even though I couldn’t fit it in the title, Glenn Beck will be this month’s Rich Asshole of the Month. [Oh, that’s right, that feature is most definitely coming into 2013…there will no doubt be shameless rich folks even in a non-election year. I hear Donald Trump makes the news nearly every day, so he’ll…
Since Alabama has Won 4 National Championships in a Row, Can We Start Seeing Some Benefit From It?
[Note: when I refer to Alabama in the title, I’m referring to the state of Alabama, not just the “Crimson Tide,” Auburn also won the national championship two years ago, although I know the two schools hate being lumped together. Tough shit, they’re a lot more alike than different.] In 2010, the University of Alabama…
Fast Food Critic: Sodas are Linked to Depression
Welp, for those that didn’t believe me before, we now have proof that sodas (and even diet sodas) are linked to depression. Now I know, I know, the study “isn’t conclusive,” but when are they ever? Right now, if you were to go on Yahoo’s front page or just do a little searching, you’d find…
Now What? : The World Didn’t End Today…Disappointed?
The way that today (12.21.12) has been built up as the end of the world, I can’t help but feel like some people are probably disappointed. We have heard for years that the end is nigh, because the Mayan calendar says it’s so…So what gives? We wake up today and there’s no nuclear launch attacks….