I took down the Battle flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door and bumper of car. Then I disconnected the home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. Bought two Iranian flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Mom Jokes: What Causes Arthritis?
A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to…
Mom Jokes: Who is the Easiest Patient to Operate On?
Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on: First surgeon: I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. Second surgeon: You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded. Third surgeon: No, I really think librarians are the…
Mom Jokes: A Lawyer Vs. a Teacher
A lawyer and a public city school teacher are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that teachers are so dumb that he could get one over on one easily. So, the lawyer asks if the teacher would like to play a fun game. The teacher is tired and just wants…
Mom Jokes: Are You From Scotland or Wales?
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accents sounded Scottish to me, and I approached them and asked, “Hi! Are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot!” So I apologized to them, replying, “I am so very sorry!…
Mom Jokes: Overpopulation…
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to…
Mom Jokes: My Trip to the Store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally…
Mom Jokes: The Trooper
A North Carolina State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car parked in the local lovers’ lane with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer…
Movie Review: Is “13 Hours” Cheap?
I went into “13 Hours” fearful I was about to watch a piece of rightwing propaganda designed to make Hillary look bad, but the movie is largely free of politics and just cruddy for different reasons. Perhaps this is why rightwingers who made “American Sniper” and “Lone Survivor” such big hits largely avoided this trip…
Movie Review: Why Did “The 5th Wave” Flop?
“The 5th Wave” may not have done well—at all—at the box office, but I still saw it, so why not review it? What Works: Chloe Grace Moretz is a great actress no matter how bad the movie she’s in, and here she combines some of the best elements from Divergent’s Shailene Woodley (vulnerable, expressive eyes, real-girl…
Movie Review: The Forest
Is “The Forest” a worthy addition to J-Pop horror? Well…yes and no… What Works: Having a horror movie set in the loony world of Japanese suicide culture is a strong idea, and the second half of the film that actually takes place in the infamous suicide forest works really well. Plus, Natalie Dormer makes a smooth transition from…
TV Review: Can Rebooted “X-Files” Win Over a New Fan?
So a small caveat before we begin: I’ve never seen an episode of the original “X-Files.” But I have seen both movies, which is either a good thing (the first one) or a bad one (the sequel) depending on whether you stopped after the original. Still, the question remains: “Is the reboot enjoyable for relatively-new fans to…
Is TBS on to Something By Showing All of “Angie Tribeca” in One Day?
Cable networks are getting increasingly jealous of the streaming platforms (Netflix, Amazon) putting all of their shows online at once and hogging all the attention, so it was perhaps inevitable that they’d find ways around this. Last year, NBC put the entire first season of “Aquarius” On Demand at the same time (I guess so…