[Drum roll please for the very last Rich Asshole of the Year]…..Deep breathe…oh, the suspense is killing me…da da da da da da…deeper breathe…[Five minutes of drum rolling]…December’s Rich Asshole of the Month is…a tie between Tom Monaghan and John Schnatter! [Collective “Who?” from the readers] Otherwise known as the founders of Domino’s Pizza and…
Author: Alabama Liberal
The Fast Food Critic: The Mashed Potato Pizza
Note: This isn’t from a chain, and I can’t really even remember the name of the place I tried it from. Needless to say, it might be hard to find if you actually live in Alabama, although I suspect this pizza would be really popular there, it’s carbs on carbs on carbs. “The Baked Potato…
How Long Can Richard Engel Keep Cheating Death?
For those that don’t know, Richard Engle is the chief correspondent for NBC News. He has also been kidnapped roughly…a thousand times. No, I’m not sure about the exact number of times he’s been tied up and thrown in the back of a truck, but it’s happened to him a couple times over his decade…
Movie Review: The Hobbit (Lower Your Expectations)
Is “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (although, really, who can call this an unexpected journey? the lack of self-awareness in keeping that subtitle is staggering) a bad movie? Not at all. It’s a solid spectacle, and arguably more fun than much of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, the problem is that it really isn’t…
Movie Reviews: Anna Karenina
I wasn’t really a fan of this movie, but it’s worth reviewing simply because, well, I saw it…But I’ll make it brief since everyone really just wants to talk about The Hobbit (which I will, a little later on today)… What Works: This updating of the classic story will probably please fans of the material,…
Sunday’s Sermon: Domino’s Sues Over Birth Control Mandate, is the War on Women Back?
While a senseless tragedy dominates the news cycle in an equally senseless way (sorry, but at this point, it’s exploiting the tragedy more than really covering it), a story that might affect a whole lot more people has slipped through the cracks. In case the headline didn’t give away, that story is Domino’s Pizza founder…
A Rare Saturday Mom Joke: Chores
Why a Saturday Mom Joke? Because recent events that have dominated the news have been really…well, I think we could all use a laugh… Chores Little Rodney comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said Rodney. His mother tells him no…
Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” Should Be…The Marijuana User
Time Magazine will reveal their “Person of the Year” next week, but has already let their readers weigh in on who should be selected with an online poll. Out of some, in my opinion, weak selection choices (Chris Christie? really? for doing what exactly? standing on the outer edges of a hurricane?), their readers chose…Kim…
Petty Issues: Bad Barbies, Golden Globe Nominations, Syria’s President, and, of course, Kanye West
Kanye West wore a leather skirt to a charity event for Hurricane Sandy victims…proving that there is such a thing as bad charity. [Point, Republicans.] And he also brought his girlfriend Kim Kardashian with him, come on guys, haven’t the people of New York suffered enough? Screen Actor’s Guild nominations were announced yesterday, and, inexplicably, The Expendables…
What Are You Going Do On 12-12-12?
Today is, as I’m sure even the average Tea Party voter knows, 12-12-12. And that means it’s not only one of the very special days that roles around once a century, like 8-8-8 (which is lucky in Chinese culture, and they started the Olympics on that day) or 6-6-6 (a marketing ploy to release The…
What if Hugo Chavez Dies?
As I’m sure you know—–or, if you’ve watched any news or been to a news site in the last year—–Hugo Chavez is ailing. He has seemingly serious cancer (we don’t know the exact type and he won’t say how serious it is, nor would he be honest about it if it were terminal), and, in…
Movie Review: Rise of the Guardians
This movie is pretty much exactly what’s wrong with Hollywood. The “plot” (or, more accurately, marketing gimmick) revolves around the “new idea” that a lot of the most famous characters on Earth (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.) are actually action heroes that fight the forces of darkness. It employs the trendy mass-market concept…
Mom Jokes: The Power of A Wife’s Love
A man was in his death bed, counting down his last hours with no hope and nothing left to live for. But then he began to smell the wonderful scent of his wife’s cookies—–his favorite food on Earth—–which seemed to magically lift his spirits. Slowly, he got out of bed and practically crawled down the…