Unknown is another review I just want to dump somewhere mostly because it’s even worse than I Am Number Four in the unoriginal department and the film largely evaporated before my eyes as I was watching it. There is one decent twist towards the end that is pretty interesting…but then the movie promptly goes back…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: The Adjustment Bureau, Best Movie of 2011…So Far
So there I was ready to slam this movie. I already had the headline (Adjustment Bureau…adjust your expectations), but then it surprised me by being good almost from the first five minutes. Then it surprised me by being really good. Now saying this movie is the best I’ve seen this year is a bit of…
Monday Morning Movie Review: Rango Finds the Beauty in Ugly
I don’t know what’s in the water this week but just like I enjoyed The Adjustment Bureau I also found Rango to be better than almost any film I had seen this year. This strange, beautiful film showed me something I didn’t even know was allowed in kid’s films anymore: ugliness. Not bad ugliness, but…
TV Review: Justified Saves Wednesday Nights
Depending on who you are different nights of the week will be considered good for TV. For me Tuesday night—which has a week high of six shows I watch from so-so programmers like V and No Ordinary Family to quietly excellent shows like Parenthood, The Good Wife, Southland, and Lights Out—is the best night of…
Entertainment Editorial: Should We Give The Farrelly Brothers a Permanent Pass?
The new movie Hall Pass pretty much came and went the weekend before last opening to a disappointing 13 million (initially expected to open at about 20 million) and unlikely to do much better this last weekend. Something that struck me in the previews was that they hardly mentioned the film was directed by the…
Mom Jokes: Resending the Best Joke My Mom Sent to Me Last Week
A Wish To Live Forever I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish. “I want to live forever,” I said. “Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant wishes like that!” “Fine,” I said, “then I want to die after Wisconsin’s Congress gets their heads out of their asses!” “You…
Gnomeo and Juliet, a Whole Different Kind of Survivor Story
[It might be in its 3rd week of release, but since this sucker just topped the box office, it’s gained a new relevance] If Sanctum is about survival under almost impossible odds then surely Gnomeo and Juliet is for myself. I survived one of the most bizarre children’s films in history while in a theater…
Sanctum, When Australia Tries to do it Big American Style, and Makes all the Same Mistakes
[I waited four weeks to put up this review because there are spoilers, and I figure after a month no one will care…if they ever did] The new movie Sanctum is about a team of Australian cave divers who get trapped in a cave during a monsoon and get picked off one by one by various…
Entertainment Editorial: If I See Anymore 3D Movies, I’m Going to Hang Myself in 4D
Alright so that headline doesn’t exactly make sense, but what does make sense to studio executives is that 3D movie tickets cost more, so they release as many 3D movies as possible. About a decade ago, the closest you got to a 3D movie is the god-awful Spy Kids 3D which asked you to wear…
TV Review: The Cape, NBC Flushes the Toilet Again
I’m not going to spend this whole review talking about NBC’s troubles (they’ve been well documented from everything to Conan O’Brien to 30 Rock making fun of their own network nearly every week), or even call them the worst broadcast network out there (that would actually be CBS, who are the top rated network through…
Mom Jokes: Traveling Through Arizona
I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop was an old…
Big Momma’s House 3, because We Just Didn’t Get Enough Fat Black Lady Jokes in the First Two
This movie sucks. What Works: lol What Doesn’t: From the opening credits to the music video ending this movie is a racist, sexist train wreck. Everything from every white male character being a villain or sleaze bag to the tired stereotype that the scariest thing on the planet is a fat, angry black woman (Big…
TV Review of MTV’s Skins, as Forced and Awkward as Teen Sex
In the above review of The Mechanic, I speculate that maybe if teenagers were having more sex, they would be less violent. [Christian conservatives can come on here and jump down my throat if they want to but young males getting it on the regular typically don’t storm their schools looking for random people to…