This could be a eulogy as much as a review as Your Highness died this past weekend, the same it was born on. The film opened in 6th place with more people going to see the sure-to-be-shitty Arthur, giving Russell Brand (also voice star of Hop) the top two films this past weekend. The apocalypse…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Monday Morning Movie Review: Source Code
The biggest problem I have with Source Code isn’t even in the movie. It’s in the other movie reviews I read for it that use this movie to launch an attack on Inception, saying both movies are convoluted and make no sense when you really think about them. As a tired defender of Inception, this…
Monday Morning Movie Review: Paul
Does anyone care about this movie anymore? I watched this thing…I guess it was almost a month ago, and at this point I’ve almost completely forgotten it. That’s too bad because I was going to give Paul a pretty good review, but now realize maybe it deserves less than that. What Works: Seth Rogen as…
Mom Jokes: Next Season on Survivor
Have you heard about the next planned “Survivor” show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 1 school year. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district’s curriculum, and a class of 20-25 students. Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Sucker Punch, the Ambitious Failure
Today on the site I bring you no less than 5 new movie reviews—and the only reason it’s not seven is I didn’t have enough time to write a review for Paul and Source Code—so I’m pretty sure that if you’re not interested in this movie review there’s something down below it you might like….
Movie Review: Battle L.A., the Unambitious Success
If there is a place in flop hell for ambitious failures then unfortunately there is also a place in box office heaven for unambitious success. Battle L.A., a reasonable hit, is proof positive of that even though there isn’t a thing new to this you haven’t seen a hundred times before. Haunted Military Hero Who…
Movie Review: The Lincoln Lawyer, the Lazy Winner
From the opening credits with a smooth Motown song playing as a Lincoln glides around the streets of LA, you can tell The Lincoln Lawyer isn’t going to reach for success, strive for ambition, unsettle you in any way, or really challenge your thinking on anything. However, it is also a pretty good movie. It’s…
Movie Review: Limitless, Slickness Over Substance
Just like The Lincoln Lawyer mainly wants to show you a good time over exploring the moral dilemma at its surface, so too Limitless is consumed with slickness over substance. The plot—a man takes a pill to make himself smarter—is the type of high concept quasi-thriller Hollywood loves to make because it’s easy to sell…
Movie Review: Red Riding Hood, An Ambitious Failure
Which now brings us full circle back to another ambitious failure, that might not really be that ambitious. Red Riding Hood tries to take a fairy tale for children and give it a suspenseful, moody atmosphere fit for adults. It doesn’t work and that’s mostly because the movie seems more content to rip off Twilight…
Big Love Post Mortem, Reviewing the Series Finale
Now most of you must be sitting there thinking I’m obsessed with this show (having just reviewed the first half of the 5th season a month back) and really I’m not…at all. In fact, I think the show’s best days are long behind it (see the chart below this article for a ranking of their…
Big Love, Ranking the Seasons
I feel it only appropriate to squeeze at least one item out of watching all 5 seasons of Big Love, so here goes… 5. The Worst Season: Season 4. This is the season even Chloe Sevigney (who plays bitter second wife Nicky, ironically the best thing about this particular season) said sucked. It started out…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Take Me Home Tonight Makes the 80’s Look More Fun Than They Really Were
Nostalgia. One word that could describe half the movies we see in theaters. Whether it’s obvious nostalgia like a period piece set in a time we might barely remember or a film set currently that tries to make us remember when we were younger (anything from Toy Story 3 to Superbad would qualify). But is…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: I Am Number Four…I Am Dumping It Here
Do I know that I Am Number Four has been out for a month? Yes. Do I know that nobody really cared much about it five minutes after they saw it—if they ever did—and that if there was ever a time to review it, the first weekend would have been the time? Yes. However, I…