Alright so that headline doesn’t exactly make sense, but what does make sense to studio executives is that 3D movie tickets cost more, so they release as many 3D movies as possible. About a decade ago, the closest you got to a 3D movie is the god-awful Spy Kids 3D which asked you to wear…
Category: Mindless Mondays
TV Review: The Cape, NBC Flushes the Toilet Again
I’m not going to spend this whole review talking about NBC’s troubles (they’ve been well documented from everything to Conan O’Brien to 30 Rock making fun of their own network nearly every week), or even call them the worst broadcast network out there (that would actually be CBS, who are the top rated network through…
Mom Jokes: Traveling Through Arizona
I was traveling between Phoenix and Ajo the other day south of Gila Bend when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop was an old…
Big Momma’s House 3, because We Just Didn’t Get Enough Fat Black Lady Jokes in the First Two
This movie sucks. What Works: lol What Doesn’t: From the opening credits to the music video ending this movie is a racist, sexist train wreck. Everything from every white male character being a villain or sleaze bag to the tired stereotype that the scariest thing on the planet is a fat, angry black woman (Big…
TV Review of MTV’s Skins, as Forced and Awkward as Teen Sex
In the above review of The Mechanic, I speculate that maybe if teenagers were having more sex, they would be less violent. [Christian conservatives can come on here and jump down my throat if they want to but young males getting it on the regular typically don’t storm their schools looking for random people to…
The Mechanic’s Gun Love
Remember all that talk (for about five minutes) post-Tucson shooting that maybe Hollywood movies project an image of violence too readily to young men? The conversation was even more halfhearted than the gun control debate where people mentioned it might be okay if people aren’t allowed to buy assault weapons, and then dropped it by…
Just Go With It…or Don’t, Boycott this Excuse for Adam Sandler to go on Vacation
Only a week after I mentioned Adam Sandler’s great, angry work in the underappreciated film Funny People, I watch the stink bomb Just Go with It. This week is morality week here on Alabama Liberal, and if Hollywood loves violence (The Mechanic) and mocking fat black women (Big Momma’s House), then they also love lazy,…
Why The Social Network Should Beat The King’s Speech for Best Picture
It’s that time of year again. For a couple dozen movies to be nominated in Oscar’s big races and for only a handful to really win big. For the last decade the Oscars have been about as lively as snail shit mostly because from December until early February so many groups have their awards first…
Mom Jokes, resending the best joke my mom emailed me last week:
A woman walks into a bridal shop to pick out a wedding dress for her fourth wedding. She tells the store clerk she wants a white wedding gown. The store clerk, delicately, tries to inform her that white wedding dresses are more for virgins than women on their fourth marriage. The woman is furious and…
Finally in Bumblefuck Part Two: Blue Valentine is Greeted with a Shoulder Shrug in Alabama
As I identified last week in my review of 127 Hours, some movies in limited release take a while to get to Alabama. Some movies never come, and some wish they never had. Blue Valentine might be an example of the latter. I’ll start by saying I like this prickly, difficult film about a young…
No Strings Attached Vs. Season of the Witch: When a Sincere Dud is Judged More Harshly Than an Ironic One
First off let me acknowledge that I am waaay behind the eight ball in reviewing these films about a month after their release. I saw both of them before the blog was started and I figured, hell, if I had to sit through both of these movies the least I could do is write a…
Seth Rogen: The Godfather of fat, charmless sidekick roles becomes an action hero. And Doesn’t Change All That Much to Do It
In The Green Hornet Seth Rogen plays a fat, hard partying loud mouth who stumbles into being an action hero. The role is a huge departure for Rogen who has played a fatter, pothead loud mouth who stumbles into being a porn star in Zach & Miri Make a Porno, a fugitive in Pineapple Express,…
TV Review of Big Love: Is HBO Still Worth It?
We all know HBO’s legendary roster of some of the greatest shows ever made (The Wire, The Sopranos, Rome, Deadwood, The Larry Sanders Show, and countless others) but taking a look at its schedule you can’t wonder if HBO’s best days are behind it. The Sopranos—its last unqualified hit with both audiences and Emmy voters—is…