Sometimes, trailers are quite deceptive for movies, but this is an occasion of truth in advertising. I can’t say the trailer is in any way deceptive of what this movie is–so watch it, and if you’re excited, you should go see it. If you hate it, then odds are slim-to-none you’ll enjoy this… What Works: For sheer, pound-for-pound…
Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer
Reviews: Red Sparrow, Tomb Raider, Unsane, Game Night, A Wrinkle in Time
By using five random reviews I’m able to properly explore how Rotten Tomatoes rewards mediocrity. Although they usually evaluate great films correctly—which a blind pig could do, honestly—most movies don’t live in the space of “greatness” or “terrible.” The vast majority of movies are between a C- and B+ grade and Rotten Tomatoes routinely gives…
Movie Review: “A Quiet Place” Held the Theater Spellbound
That mysterious film with the largely silent trailer that’s been intriguing audiences for a while now is finally here. And although it won’t be good for a theater’s concession sales (popcorn eaters may get shamed for loud chewing, as I was), audiences will mostly love this unique gem. What Works: This is as close as a…
Review: “The Polka King” is the Best Film of Early 2018
We live in a world of unbelievable things. In an unusually strong January/February period stacked with Natalie Portman mindblowers like “Annihilation,” charming family films like “Early Man” or “Paddington 2,” and Marvel’s best film in a decade, “Black Panther,” the film I found myself most drawn to is an obscure Netflix original starring Jack Black…
Quick “Netflix Original” Reviews: Mute, The Ritual, When We First Met
If you had told me a week ago, I’d wind up preferring a light Adam Devine-starring rom-com to a new sci-fi drama from “Moon” visionary Duncan Jones, I might not have believed you… The Ritual…A group of British friends go to Northern Sweden to hike an isolated trail. All is well until they take a…
Movie Review: Annihilation
Is there a more deceptively shallow writer/director working today than Alex Garland? After receiving a lot of acclaim for the scripts of “28 Days Later,” “Sunshine,” “Never Let Me Go,” and “Dredd” (all of them over-praised sci-fi that attached larger significance to themselves than they deserved), he royally gamed critics with “Ex Machina.” That was a…
Movie Review: A Lover of the Book “Every Day” Reviews the Movie
I doubt people unfamiliar with the novel have even heard of this movie. It was dumped in theaters with few trailers, TV spots, or billboards (it supposedly used “targeted marketing” and I guess I’m not the target) and that may be kind-of a problem for a movie with no-name stars, a low-key energy and sense…
Movie Review: “Irreplaceable You” Once Again Sets Interracial Couples in Movies Back
At this point, I almost feel like Hollywood is in a hilariously-lopsided battle against me. How else to explain the relentless drubbing of black/white couples in TV and Film? At a time when “Get Out” is receiving a ridiculous amount of over-praise and Oscar buzz, you might scoff at me putting a movie like Irreplaceable You in…
Review: “Black Panther” is Marvel’s Best Since the 1st “Iron Man”
Note: That headline may be a bit less euphoric than it first sounds since long-time readers may remember that I actually dislike most Marvel films, finding them machine-made and largely flavorless. The “Doctor Strange,” “Ant-Man,” “Thor,” and “Avengers” franchises do nothing for me, and even if I enjoyed “Captain America,” “Iron Man,” and “Guardians of the…
Movie Review: What Other Critics Are Missing About “15:17 to Paris”
You might be surprised to see “15:17 to Paris” get such scathing reviews (a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes? really? when any Marvel bullshit-fest can easily top 90%), and I couldn’t help but wonder if this exact same film—less a terrorism docuthriller than a red state cinema verite piece—were made about a culture literally anywhere else than Christian…
Review: Is “Fifty Shades Freed” the Female “Fast and Furious?”
Yes, I know, there are lots of women who like “Fast and Furious” movies—and notably less men that like “Fifty Shades” movies, as evidenced by how “Furious” movies are rubber-stamped by critics and “Fifty” movies are ridiculed. But when you really get into the heart of the “Fast” audience, there’s a certain type of gear…
22-Word “Paddington Bear 2” Review
Paddington Bear 2…I’ve stalled writing a full review because all that really needs to be said is “Go see it.” So…”Go see it!”
Movie Review: The Cloverfield Paradox–OR–Cloverfield 3
Despite some ingenious marketing techniques (teasing an April release in theaters before officially revealing Netflix had bought it to distribute about two hours after telling the world it would be available–in February), this is probably the worst film in the “Cloverfield” franchise and can’t hold a candle to “10 Cloverfield Lane,” the second and by…