One of the great, hidden ironies of politics in this century is that Republicans pretend they are for small government, but have only ever given the government more control over people’s lives, usually over aspects that have no need for government input. Meanwhile, they pretend they are economic wizards (and some Democrats pretend they hate capitalism),…
Author: Alabama Liberal
What if Kamala Harris Suddenly Became President?
All over the internet, you can find various “what if?” scenarios where the white male conservative horde is practically having a panic attack at the mere idea of Kamala Harris taking over for Joe Biden. It doesn’t seem to matter that she’s already taken over for him once (when he had a colonoscopy, temporarily transferring…
Mom Jokes: Smartass vs. Police Officer
I quickly went to the store this morning, came out walking with my hands full, and there’s a police officer writing out a fine! So I walk up to the car and say, “if you want to fuck people without kissing them, you might as well just go to a hooker!” The officer is mad,…
Anti-Abortion Nuts Don’t REALLY Care About Kids
We’ve all seen the nuts who go outside abortion clinics and scream at the women or staff who enter. Sometimes, they even bring their own kids there to hold up signs and help them shame women on a day they’d surely rather be left alone. Similarly, there’s a battalion of online trolls (usually older men,…
We Need More “Judicial Bullying” for the Supreme Cult
Many of our horrible, conservative Supreme Court Justices have been complaining about “Judicial Bullying.” Samuel Alito certainly didn’t like it when his Godawful decision to reverse Roe (and the ridiculous “legal precedents” he cited to justify it) was revealed to the public before it was “time.” Likewise, Brett Kavanaugh sure didn’t seem to enjoy being…
Unpopular Vote: Countries in Europe Aren’t More Liberal than America, Just More Equally Represented
By now, we’ve absorbed it almost as a total truth that Europe is unequivocally more liberal than the United States. This is perhaps forgetting the rival histories of Europe and the U.S. since the U.S. constitution was an inarguably liberal (for its time) and revolutionary document the founders signed knowing they could be executed by…
How Long Will Truth Social Actually Last?
Let’s just say Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t need to lose too much sleep over it. Hell, the CEO of MySpace (whoever that is) doesn’t need to lose an after-lunch nap over it… Trump himself posted there only one time before the January 6th hearings started. [Despite pretending otherwise, he seems much more obsessed with getting back…
DON’T Have Sympathy for the Capitol Rioters
The January 6th hearings are the most compulsively watchable congressional hearings in decades. They’re so interesting, relevant, and (relatively) lively that C-SPAN audiences might finally rouse from their slumber, and it’s obvious these are the exact opposite of the snore-inducing Benghazi time-wasters overseen by congress’s version of Inspector Clouseau: Trey Gowdy. The only troubling development…
Of course, Democrats are STILL the Party for Blue Collar Workers
Last week, I shot holes all through the increasingly popular Republican talking point that Democrats have “abandoned” the working class in favor of “elites,” and that Trump (a billionaire who poops on a gold toilet) changed everything. This week, I’d like to focus that message even more towards blue collar workers or jobs. After all,…
What if America Actually WAS Split into Two Countries? A “Red” Nation and a “Blue” Nation?
Right below this article, I wrote one asking the question of “Why does Texas keep talking about secession?” and actually answering it instead of standing around scratching my head screaming “the world’s gone crazy” (the default position for most millionaire media pundits). But it isn’t just Texas. Even a brief glance at bot-plagued social media…
Frequently Asked Question: “Why in the Hell do Texas Republicans Keep Talking About Secession?”
Few people know that Alabama Liberal’s first (and best) unpublished manuscript was a speculative fiction spy-drama detailing what would happen if Texas actually did secede from the United States. That was written in early 2011, when then-Texas Governor Rick Perry–not yet moved on to “greater things” like resigning from the Trump administration or “Dancing with…
Despite Whining About “Inflation,” Republicans Actually Want to Make Price Gouging Even Worse
Republicans seem to have a mantra for the 2020 midterm elections: “crime, gas prices, inflation.” Whereas they struggled mightily to make a coherent case against Biden in the 2020 election (“Hunter Biden’s laptop is on a Ukrainian war boat stuffed with cash, cocaine, and child sex slaves. Why won’t the media cover this?”), they appear…
Senate Candidate Herschel Walker Thought There Were 52 States…There Should Be
A lot of people were laughing at Herschel Walker, the man with a gaggle of illegitimate kids and who gets things even basic facts wrong more often than a Fox & Friends broadcast. But those people don’t understand the forward-thinking of a man like Walker. They don’t fully realize that Herschel Walker is a visionary. This…