Anyone can be a player in a big city like New York when you just have to throw a rock to hit a 5 foot 10 glamazon aspiring model. Being a player inside an area locally known as “the county limits” is pretty damn hard. Most women are 15 (illegal as my buddy Brad would…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Interviews with the Invisible: “The Welfare Bum”
In the national debate about cutting out “entitlements” to trim the deficit, over and over I keep that “welfare bums” are the ones bleeding the country dry. Well I decided to ask a “Welfare Bum” who has drawn unemployment and food stamps how much he really makes. The following is an interview with Michael Baranick,…
Larger Editorial: Why Old People Should Vote Democrat
In the ongoing debate about what fat we need to cut off our budget in an attempt to reel in our 14 trillion dollar national deficit, a clear distinction emerges between the two parties. The Democrats want to cut the military budget—largest in the world—which is also the government sector most directly responsible for the…
Petty Issues Week 1
Jewelry companies have advertised 400 times more than usual in the run up to Valentine’s Day. Why don’t they just show a picture of an angry girlfriend opening a box of candy with the tag line “Our advertising is designed to make her disappointed?” I wonder if alcohol commercials will increase around St. Patrick’s Day……
Now What? (Life Post Grad): The Vicious Cycle of Experience
Welcome to “Now What?” a weekly feature for figuring out what to do after you graduate college. It is the best time of times to be young. It is the worst of times to be young. This is the worst economy for recent college graduates in almost a century. All the promises of wealth you’ve…
The Fast Food Critic: Reviewing the Latest Foods Designed to Kill You
Today I’m reviewing the latest Frankenstein burger, the Jalapeno and Cheddar Stuffed Burger King Steakhouse Burger which sounds more like a sentence than a sandwich. As a general health rule, if your burger needs a period at the end of it (like Chili’s Bacon Ranch Cheddar Fried Onion Chili Burger), you might want to go…
Working Class Economist: Take Your Credit Card, Set It on Fire, and Piss on the Ashes
Welcome to Working Class Economist, a feature that will take a look at the economy through the people most affected by it but so rarely mentioned by policy wonks discussing interest rates or credit default swaps: people making less than 60,000 a year. Today’s feature is all in the title: the abusive relationship you have…
Red State Vs. Blue State: Brody Vs. Betty
In this debate I will be talking to a super religious housewife whose husband is in the military. Brody: Hi, thank you so much for coming out. I mean it. Betty: You’re welcome. Brody: Why do you hate gays? Betty: Wait…what? Brody: Okay, we’ll skip that one for now. Actually, I would like to ask…
Down and Out in Bumblefuck: The Rural News Covers Natural Gas Drilling
Today I want to talk about natural gas drilling. Most people think of domestic, natural gas drilling as a positive step towards energy independence and ditching America’s foreign oil addiction. Most people would be wrong. I could write a book about how natural gas drilling is bad for people—from poisoning the ground with hexa-chromium 3,…
What the Fuck Happened to Vince Vaughn?
[This kicks off “throwback” week on Alabama Liberal. This week I will be re-posting the most popular items from the site’s first 7 months. I just go solely by whichever items had the most comments and am “re-sharing” them in a week that hopes to tap into some nostalgia while also finding new eyes for…
Country Strong: An Attempt to Play to the Rural Seats is as Boring and Sanitized as Contemporary Country Music
Most Hollywood movies are made in cities by people who live in cities for people that will watch them in cities, but every once and a while an attempt comes along to capitalize on an audience usually ignored: the 75 percent of the country classified as a fly over state. Movies like The Passion of…
Finally in Bumblefuck: 127 Hours comes to Alabama and it only took 127 Days
Finally in Bumblefuck: 127 Hours comes to Alabama and it only took 127 Days In the last two months of the year, Hollywood releases a cluster of quality films in an attempt to keep them fresh in voter’s minds for Oscar Season. These movies roll out in New York and Los Angeles, then expand to…
TV Review of Lights Out: Does Hollywood Love Boxing More than the Rest of America?
TV Review of Lights Out: Does Hollywood Love Boxing More than the Rest of America? In the fourth episode of FX’s terrific new show Lights Out (about a retired heavy weight champion trying to survive economically despite deep debt and IRS scrutiny) the lead character, Patrick “Lights” Leary, and his father are at a bar…