What Do You Think Jim Gilmore’s Doing Right Now?

By | February 9, 2016

“What do you think Jim Gilmore’s doing right now?”–Only Alabama Liberal. That’s right folks, I ask the questions nobody else cares about—I mean, “dares” to ask. And right now I’d like to continue being fascinated by/laughing at “Presidential Candidate” Jim Gilmore. [The quotes are necessary for legal reasons.]

Earlier today, I asked “But Seriously, Why is Jim Gilmore Still Running?” I think it’s safe to say his campaign staff—assuming he has one that is not just him putting on a funny accent when he answers the phone—is hoping to get more than the¬†twelve¬†votes they got at the Iowa Caucus. And rumor has it that one guy was just a really old Trump supporter who died in the Gilmore section and they counted him for pity reasons.

Still, “what the hell is Jim Gilmore doing running for president?” isn’t nearly as interesting as the broader question of just in general “What the Hell is Jim Gilmore doing right now?” How would a stealth presidential candidate spend his days campaigning for the highest office in the land when he can barely get arrested? Is he arm-wrestling Jesse Ventura at a truck stop diner? Is he following Fiorina’s tour bus around honking at it? Pulling up Hillary Clinton’s yard signs laughing like the devil the whole time he does it?

Some mistakenly think that Gilmore wasn’t at the last GOP debate, but he was just in the parking lot “debating” a homeless guy. A poll of the three bystanders said Gilmore won easily, although he had to give them $5 bucks first, which is no easy feat for a guy who sleeps in his car on the campaign trail.

As long as Jim Gilmore stays in this race, I’ll continue to wonder “Just what the hell is he doing at this moment?” And if the footage of him and Lindsey Graham pranking the Taco Bell drive-in at 2 a.m. surfaces anytime soon, I’ll be glad I asked. [This just in: a Gilmore “campaign spokesperson” that sounds a lot like Gilmore himself told me that he and his wife are just “kind-of in a weird place right now” and this “candidacy” is giving them some useful time apart.]

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