I’ve debated fiscal conservatives, social conservatives, and a guy at a bar that can accurately be described as Trigger Happy Jones in his love for guns. However, I have not debated a—and I do believe this is the technical term—“hottie.” Sure, today she is a conservative woman with large implants, an aspiring modeling career, and little actual knowledge of politics, but tomorrow she could very easily be the next Tea Party star.
Originally, this woman agreed to use her real name. Then after the debate, she was unhappy with it and asked me to give her a pseudonym (as I have done for most debates, but am getting tired of doing), but then—in true spoiled hottie fashion—tried to set terms on what pseudonym she was given. Saying she didn’t want anything ridiculous or demeaning.
Brody: Hi, thanks for coming on.
Tits McGee: You’re welcome.
Brody: So what exactly makes you a conservative?
Tits McGee: It’s just…really it’s everything.
Brody: Care to elaborate?
Tits McGee: What are you asking exactly?
Brody: I’m asking why you are a conservative specifically, besides just “everything,” what makes you one, why do you vote that way, like conservatives, etc.
Tits McGee: I’m a proud conservative.
Brody: Yes, so you have said. So I already know. So we have established from the jump or you wouldn’t be here debating me as the red part of Red State Vs. Blue State. What I want to know, pretty please with two fucking sugars on top is why you are a conservative?
Tits McGee: Because I like their issues…abortion is wrong, gay marriage I mean…you know God wouldn’t want that…I don’t like giving all my taxes to people on welfare and illegal immigrants—
Brody: I doubt you pay almost any taxes. You get paid in tips from frustrated middle aged men who will pay a bit extra for shitty food. I’m talking the world’s sorriest—
Tits McGee: Hey, the wings are really good!
Brody: The wings are shit. I always hear the wings are good, but they’re terrible with barely any meat smothering in this sauce that tastes like diesel fuel. The wings suck but nobody notices because they come underneath some big nipples and people have to find something to eat there…something worth defending so they can find an excuse to carry their little league baseball team there to eat.
Tits McGee: Well I don’t eat there much, and I don’t even work there anymore so let’s get off Hooters. Why are you a liberal?
Brody: Because I know that making abortions illegal won’t stop them. Drugs are illegal and look at how hard they are to get. Making it illegal will just create another underground industry like guns, drugs, prostitution and lock up more people that have no business being in jail. Abortion rates go down when people have access to birth control, so if you want abortions to decrease, take the stigma and cost out of birth control pills—not condoms which break, birth control pills.
Then of course I know that issues like abortion, gay marriage, and illegal immigration are just smokescreen bullshit to whip up a frenzy so people don’t notice the only thing the Republican Party really cares about: tax cuts for the wealthy.
Tits McGee: Well if people are working hard why should they be taxed to pay for the lazy?
Brody: That’s the thing, that’s the bullshit line is that people who work hard will become rich and those that don’t will be lazy welfare bums. The fact is that many people put in just as many hours as a corporate CEO does and aren’t compensated 1 percent as much money. Nurses, cops, teachers, hell, even waitresses are working hard, but they’re not going to make 1 percent the salary of a CEO. People might have a full time job but still draw welfare. A Wal-Mart cashier, even full time, isn’t going to make more than 18,000 a year which is pitiful and qualifies someone for welfare.
I know, I worked at Wal-Mart and I worked as a waiter at Appleby’s, and even though I never sat down from the moment I started to the moment I left, I would never have made more than 20,000 no matter how hard I worked.
I’ve also heard you make a lot of negative comments about “Obamacare” and saying people shouldn’t have free healthcare because you didn’t. But you had breast implants, that is, by definition, an elective surgery. That is the most elective surgery. That is the surgery people point to when they give an example of something they don’t want their tax dollars going to.
Tits McGee [Very uncomfortable for a minute]: Well at Hooters I made more than 20,000 so I think—
Brody: Hooters is different and doesn’t run like any other company on the face of the Earth with the possible exception of strip clubs. It’s a PG-13 rated brothel where men are willing to pay a premium, hell, probably tip you more than their entire meal is worth.
Tits McGee: That’s extremely ridiculous and demeaning.
Brody: You worked at Hooters and now you get paid to model in bikinis and you’re saying I’m ridiculous and demeaning?
Tits McGee: That’s not—
Brody: Plus, as an attractive woman you’re going to be given a lot more goodwill than I am. You could say “I like cheese,” and there would be some guy in the comments section saying “Smart lady, I really liked her point about cheese.”
Tits McGee: Well that’s [laughter]. But we work hard at Hooters too. We just make it fun. Customers are going to tip more if the experience is fun. If the customer is satisfied—
Brody: Oh trust me, no one leaves Hooters satisfied. Frustrated, married middle aged businessmen too scared to go to a strip club, men who might not remember what a young breast even looks like, come in there and you flirt with them a little to get a great tip. They think they might get somewhere or pretend that you’re not just being nice to them to get money, and then give too much hoping you’ll sleep with them down the road. Then they leave, realize they’re not getting anything for the money they just spent, and really just got screwed before they get amnesia two weeks later and go back again to get screwed. In a way, it’s a perfect analogy for being a Republican voter.
This girl needs to shut her mouth and do what she’s good at-show her tits.
Smart lady, I really liked her point about cheese ;)
LMAO
lol..TITS MCGEE..TOO FUNNY..the stupid girl sounds like a sterotypical blonde.
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