Petty Issues: Trump’s Joint Disgrace–I Mean, Address Edition

By | March 1, 2017

That five minute standing ovation for the mother of a fallen soldier went from “compassionate” to “snake-handling church-tent revival.” And Trump’s praising of a military he largely has done nothing for most definitely tip-toes over the line from “patriotic” to “I’m using you to wrap a protective shield around my fascism.” [Sean Spicer’s new thing is to make any criticism of Trump a criticism of the troops.] You can already feel the stage being set for a war.

Some of the best slow-burns of the evening: Tim Kaine frowning while sarcastically clapping, Nancy Pelosi’s Six-Flags-at-9 p.m. exhausted face, and Keith Ellison looking at Trump how most Trump voters imagine black men look at them all the time.

Speaking of Ellison, how about Tom Perez having to pretend they’re best friends to satiate Bernie’s crazy base? “Hey look, I just so happen to be at a TGIFriday’s with my buddy Keith for a totally casual chill-sess and we ran into an undocumented transgender Latina waitress–shame on you Trump.”

Runner-Up Asshole of the Evening: Joe Manchin who gave coal and gutting the EPA regulations a standing ovation. We get it, you’re from West Virginia and big coal runs your campaign, but there’s a difference between boot-licking corporate masters to get along and offering to blow them before they ask. Will Joe Manchin eventually switch to the Republican Party? And if so, how could we tell the difference?

Asshole(s) of the Week: It’s hard to know what’s worse: Trump promising to create an Orwellian agency to look into “immigrant crimes” or seeing Mike Pence and his dipshit-clone Paul Ryan (wearing the exact same suit and tie, looking like the boss’ idiot son who’ll inherit the business one day) sitting smugly behind him, a chilling vision of the line of succession should Trump be impeached.

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