The Emmys announced their nominations today celebrating the best of Television, and I have to say I have no real complaints about who was chosen…Just kidding, of course I do, there were NO major nominations for Community, and the entire male cast of Parks and Recreation was passed over so Modern Family could hog up virtually the entire “Best Supporting Male in a Comedy Category.” And what’s up with Parks and Recreation not getting a Best Comedy Series nomination? Oh well, at least Giancarlo Esposito was nominated for “Best Supporting Actor in a Drama” for his unrivaled performance in Breaking Bad, as long as he and Bryan Cranston win, I’ll be tap dancing.
“Pit Bull will be sent to a Wal-Mart in Kodiak, Alaska” may be the funniest headline I’ve read in weeks. This should tell him what his “fans” think about him, that they are sending him to the furthest reaches of the globe instead of their hometowns.
2nd Runner-Up Asshole of the Week: I hate talking about Rush Limbaugh damn near every week. Hate it…but, sigh…this week our nation’s most iconic asshole said that the villain in the new Batman movie’s name (Bane) is another liberal Hollywood plot to get people to hate Bain Capital, Mitt Romney’s former firm. This is so damn stupid I don’t even feel like writing that 1. The character of Bane is decades old, 2. Just from the trailers, it seems like Bane’s philosophy is pretty much the exact opposite of Romney’s, 3. Bain Capital sucks…if they really wanted people to like them, why did they pick a name that sounds like “the bane of my existence.” The word bane is pretty much synonymous with being annoying—-hence him being Batman’s greatest foe yet in the movies—-so maybe start there if you want to launch a P.R. campaign.
1st Runner-Up Asshole of the Week: Arizona’s racist-in-chief “Sheriff Joe” Arpaio, the man facing all kinds of lawsuits over racially profiling Latinos, this week further proved himself oblivious to the 21st century by claiming his “posse” of volunteers, had been able to prove Obama’s birth certificate is a fake. That’s right, don’t take the word of any government official in Hawaii, the hospital where he was born, or the leader of the free world…listen to an old racist and his million-year old “posse” of deputized dimwits in a state now-famous for harassing Mexicans.
And Ultimate Asshole of the Week: It’s a tie between George Zimmerman and Sean Hannity. This week, Zimmerman gave his first interview to (of course) Faux News, the channel that never met a story about a dead black teenager where they didn’t want to defend the shooter, and it could not have been more obvious Sean Hannity was totally on Team Zimmerman. He kept framing his questions in a way that could leave little doubt that he was on George’s side and everyone who wasn’t was just “rushing to judgment” or “didn’t have all the facts.” Uhhh…a month after a case isn’t rushing to judgment, and why in the hell is Faux still defending this lunatic? Zimmerman is so out of it (he claimed it was God’s plan for him to shoot Zimmerman…the gold standard of all nutcase arguments), that when Hannity asked him what he thought about Spike Lee and Al Sharpton, you know, blaming him for shooting an unarmed teenager, he said they “should apologize…that’s what I would do if I did something wrong.” This dumb bastard still doesn’t get that he did something very, very wrong. And I don’t get why Hannity can’t see a head case when he’s in front of him.