Today brought the news that 43 year old conservative blogger and crazy person Andrew Breibart died of “natural causes,” otherwise known as a cocaine overdose. Breibart is perhaps best known for his legendary journalism of Anthony Weiner’s dick pics. [Finally, I can send a picture of my dick to Nancy Pelosi without the scrutiny!]
Snooki announced she was pregnant this week. Still no word on what species the father is…more on this tragedy as it develops for 18 sad years…
Shockingly NON-Asshole of the Week: North Korea decided to give up their nuclear program in order to receive aid from the United States that would keep their lights on and people from starving. I never thought I’d live to see the day they did something sane…what’s next? Iran just saying “ehh, fuck it, we really could use functioning infrastructure and more modern, 17th century ideals about women’s place in society more than nuclear power?” Nahhh, nothing that crazy…
Asshole of the Week, Runner-Up: Billy Crystal. Enough’s enough Billy, Oscar hosts aren’t appointed for life. You’re not the Pope, so don’t die up there on the stage for the whole world to see when you’re still hosting in five years, although, that would be more interesting than anything you did this time.
Asshole of the Week, For Realz: James Murdoch, Son of Satan a.k.a. Rupert Murdoch. It was announced that he’d be stepping down as the acting head of News Corp. I guess because of the shameful scandal of wiretapping that went down last year. What’s really shameful is that so far no one from the Murdoch family has faced even a whiff of criminal charges and if it hasn’t happened in the first year, it probably won’t.