Why is Rupert Murdoch even interested in hacking people’s phones? He mostly makes up the news. He gets his “leads” by having someone write “Obama sucks” on a bathroom stall door 15 times and calling it a “Poll of how Americans feel about the President.”
So a part of California wants to secede into a separate, conservative “boom” state? Kaboom is more like it. Instead of letting them form a 51st mouth to feed, I say we sell that part to Mexico (or, more likely, China) and neutralize US debt off of it. I think a prime chunk of Southeast California real estate is worth a few trillion.
The Afghanistan President’s notorious half-brother (a sometime drug trafficker and power player that held the Kandahar province together and is a pain in the Taliban’s side there) was assassinated. Oops, there goes stability in the Southern region. I predict Afghanistan will have peace in ’15…3015 that is.
An Arizona lawmaker got in trouble this week for pointing a loaded gun at a reporter. Do I even need to say she’s a Republican? I feel like I should have a buddy cop show with a Republican and every time they screw something up (like wrecking the US economy by not raising the debt ceiling or pointing a LOADED GUN at a reporter the same year an AZ lawmaker almost got assassinated) I fix it. We can call it “Fletcher and Douche.”
Asshole of the week: Eric Cantor. Republicans should dump this loser for three reasons. 1. He’s a hypocrite who says he has a moral objection to raising the debt ceiling but did so numerous times under Bush. 2. He’s willing to wreck the entire economy just to try to take John Boehner’s job. 3. By derailing every deal Boehner tries to make, he makes Obama raise the ceiling unilaterally which means Republicans will get NOTHING that they’re asking for. Republicans need to learn that compromise isn’t a four letter word but “Zero” is.
Brilliant…