I have no idea how this franchise is so successful. I have no idea how it grossed a hundred million dollars this weekend and will be one of the biggest movies of the summer. I have no idea how people can honestly plunk down 10 to 15 dollars to watch the same movie they’ve now seen 6 times. Do I hate all the Fast and Furious movies? Not necessarily, the first one was good and the 5th one was okay, but when is enough enough? They’re already working on the 7th one, and I don’t see this franchise going anywhere before they get to at least ten movies. I just don’t get it…
What Works: Ummm…well…the mostly white trash and Hispanic crowd I saw it with really seemed to eat it up. Crowds will probably have a good time, but I just couldn’t get into it…any of it. Luke Evans is an okay villain. Michelle Rodriguez and Gina Carano have a pretty hot cat fight. Ummm…I’m sure there are other things.
What Doesn’t Work: What made the first Fast and Furious movie work so well were the stripped down, no-effects car chases. They used stunt drivers. They didn’t use CGI. And the 70’s style thrills felt real and organic. Nothing in this film does. By the time they get to a tank chase on a bridge, I felt like throwing up. There’s just such a level of fakery that this movie might as well star Brendan Frasier and be one of those Mummy movies. Plus, these films always star the absolute worst group of actors I’ve ever seen. When Paul Walker is your most talented cast member, there’s a problem. Vin Diesel is really good at looking stupid but saying his lines in a way that lets you know he thinks he’s the most clever motherfucker that’s ever lived. And why doesn’t he, Paul Walker, or any of the other main cast besides The Rock star in anything but Fast and Furious films?
What I Would Have Done Differently: These movies are critic proof, the studio makes money, and I doubt they even care what I think.
LLLLLLLOve your review! Where have you been?