I don’t care——at all——about the Republican National Convention. And it isn’t just because I’m a Democrat. It’s because…
5. Republicans Aren’t Showmen. Think about the last true Republican “Entertainer” that was out there, and you probably think of Ronald Reagan. Now think about the people you want to watch put on a show. Musicians? Democrats. Actors? Democrats. Hollywood producers and spectacle organizers? Democrats. “The gays”? Democrats. Stylists? Democrats (although you may wonder why I didn’t just lump this in with the gays). Dancers? Democrats (again…). Republicans are great at boring you to tears with fantasy theories about cutting taxes and casting scorn at women who enjoy sex, but putting on a great show? Not so much.
4. Their Speeches Suck. Just as Republicans don’t know much about razzle dazzle in their events, they also aren’t so hot on uplifting, inspirational speeches. I know Republicans will vehemently disagree, but just think about it: When Democrats speak, they’re speaking to the hopes and dreams of a base starving for equality (racial equality, income equality, sexual equality). They’re speaking to the homosexual who longs to marry or the racial minority that longs to send their kid to college or the union member striving for a better life or the environmentalist that wants to save the planet. They are advocating for a better existence for all…in other words, no petty things.
Republicans are giving soaring oratory on the virtues of giving tax cuts to millionaires, why gay people and immigrants are bad, and how much our first black president sucks. I’m sure it’s a real barn burner if you’re Ann Coulter, but the overwhelming majority of these speeches are designed to make people feel bad, afraid, or furious…and at all the wrong things. A hardline Tea Party speech will inspire you…to join the Aryan Brotherhood.
3. Their Speech Givers Suck. And it isn’t just the content of what they’re saying. A lot of times it truly is the way they’re saying it that’s bad. Just look at the verbal mastery possessed by big name Democrats like Bill Clinton and Barack Obama (who gave such “good speech” at the 2004 convention, it propelled him to the top of the presidential contenders list). Now look at George W. Bush…[crickets guys, crickets]…And Robototron Mitt (who never met an audience he couldn’t not connect with) and Paul “Sarcastic Face” Ryan aren’t much better.
2. Really And Truly, It’s the Same Old Bullshit. Are there going to be any Earth shattering revelations at this year’s RNC? Of course not. Are they going to suddenly do an about face on any of their issues…waking up to discover it might be alright to slightly alter the tax rate to save Medicare and Social Security? What do you think?
Because I know that there won’t be anything taking place at this convention that you can’t see a mile away. There might be an unintentional awkward joke (and with Romney/Ryan as the ticket, I think the odds are better than “might be”) or racist incident (and with the Tea Party there, I think the odds are a HELL of a lot better than “might be”), but for the most part this thing is more staged than professional wrestling. Just because the GOP can’t put on a good show (see point 5), doesn’t mean they can’t put on a very programmed one. The Republican platform hasn’t really changed in fifty years or a hundred years, and I think we’ve all pretty much gotten their basic philosophies on everything.
1. The Thick Atmosphere of Intolerance That’s There But They Pretend Is Not There. Rightwing hate groups have exploded in membership since the election of Barack Obama in 2008, who they insist is a Kenyan Muslim Communist Atheist Homo-Sympathizer (one out of five ain’t bad…oh wait, it is, it is very bad). He has received more death threats than any president just in his first term and more than the last three presidents combined. “Anti-immigration activists” (i.e. racists), Anti-Islamic activists, and anti-gay activists have never been more vocal, and viewed as more legitimate. Studies done on the Tea Party plainly show their members to be more racist, sexist, Islamophobic, and homophobic than the electorate as a whole.
The Republican Party has a race problem (as viewed by the two delegates that threw peanuts at a black female CNN reporter, saying “This is how we feed animals”). They have a sex problem (Todd Akin’s shameful “legitimate rape” comment, and massive legislation to roll back abortion rights, birth control rights, and really the sexual revolution as a whole). And they have a gay problem (as evidenced by nearly every speech given by almost any Republican in the last five years). But the worst part is watching them act deaf, blind, and dumb to playing the intolerance card because they’re playing it in more subtle ways than what we’re used to. [Like the Voter Rights Act, which clearly impacts minority voters the way a poll tax would have a hundred years ago, but not in a way that blatantly says “Whites Only Can Vote”…thus giving them enough wiggle room to say “See, race has nothing to do with it!”]
Just take this quote from Tim Pawlenty given at the convention yesterday: “I’ve come to realize that Barack Obama is the tattoo president. Like a big tattoo, it seemed cool when you were young. But later on, that decision doesn’t look so good, and you wonder: what was I thinking? But the worst part is you’re still going to have to explain it to your kids.”
Is there really any doubt that what he’s really saying is “You shouldn’t have dated a black guy when you were younger. Us older folks told you not to, to go out with that nice McCain boy, and now look at you…soiled and tainted.” Except that I know America’s NOT tainted, and the only thing I have to “explain” to any future kids is that America elected the first black president a majority white country has ever had. That’s something I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed or apologetic for. And it’s a “tattoo” I plan on adding to come November 6th.
“Because I know that there won’t be anything taking place at this convention that you can’t see a mile away.” Looks like the GOP wanted to prove this crazy liberal blog wrong. Nothing says off-script like Clint Eastwood talking to an empty chair and ad-libbing for what seemed like an eternity.
Ha, yes they showed me. I didn’t know an old man would lose his mind on stage, and apparently Romney didn’t either. Of course, it really says something that that’s the ONLY talked about moment from that entire convention. Eastwood seemed so memorable because everything else was so staged and stale, I actually thought Eastwood’s speech was one of the best. Not just “best for the Democrats,” I mean one of the legitimately best.