Larger Editorial: Why the Chinese Government is the Shadiest in the World

I don’t agree with neo-cons about much (as is by now obvious to anyone who has ever visited the site, read an article title, or even glanced at the web address), but I do agree with them that the ruling Politburo in China aren’t very nice people. Of course, the right wing doesn’t really talk about China that much because 1. They’d rather beat a dead horse about Iran rather than go after their actual nuclear benefactors, 2. They prefer hot wars with irrelevant Middle Eastern countries to cold ones with very relevant and evenly matched ones, 3. And most of all because their “fiscal conservative” puppet masters enjoy cheap Chinese labor to make things Americans used to. Kind-of hard to justify the damage outsourcing is doing if you face facts about the country you’re helping out instead.

So why is the Chinese government “the Shadiest in the World” and what exactly does that mean? Does it mean that they treat their citizens the worst? No, that would be North Korea. Does it mean that they’re building a nuclear bomb against the world’s wishes and repeatedly lying to acquire materials for it? No, that would be Iran. Does it mean that they’ve committed mass scale genocide against an ethnic minority? Well, depends on your exact feelings of Tibet/Taiwan/the Uighur Muslim population of China, but most people would think more of Sudan doing this. But wait a minute…what large benefactor do all three of those countries rely on to keep them afloat and protect them from civilized influence? Now you’re getting it.

1. China is Shady Because Their Neighbors Hate Them. You know that guy at work that you think is nice, but you find out from all his neighbors that he’s the most hated motherfucker on the block? Well that’s because people can act very different in business settings where they need to be nice to make money and their true self isn’t really revealed until they’re at home. You can tell a lot about a country by how it’s neighbors feel about them, and if that’s the case with China, it ain’t good.

They’re beefing with Australia over Naval rights. They’re beefing with Vietnam over production rights. India hates them. South Korea hates them. Japan really hates them. Hong Kong resents being managed by them. Taiwan really, really, really hates them. Tibet hates them an exponential number of times. And a month ago, they nearly went to war with the Philippines over an island not much bigger than my apartment. So yeah, if there was an Asian Block Party, there would probably be a debate about whether or not to invite China, and even then South Korea would just hope they don’t show up.

2. They Hang Out With The Weird Kids. If the entire world stage is a high school and America is the captain of the football team that sometimes makes stupid decisions but ultimately leads in a crunch, then China is the king of the freaks. And by “freaks,” I mean the most loathsome pariah regimes on the planet. They are the horrific regime in Zimbabwe’s biggest benefactor. One of the only non-Latin American friends left to the Castro brothers in Cuba. They funnel weapons to Lebanon in exchange for oil. They have given Iran (through shell companies) the majority of their nuclear bomb components in exchange for oil. They have given weapons and bankrolled the world’s worst government in Sudan (and the accompanying genocide) in exchange for oil. Picking up a pattern here? They’d make a deal with the literal devil they don’t believe in to get their hands on more oil.

Not to mention that without their continued support, North Korea’s monstrous regime would fall tomorrow and the country could easily enjoy the type of resurgence South Korea has. When a country’s only true “friends” are the world’s pariahs, it really makes you wonder what it would be like if China actually surpassed the United States as the next world power, as so many snarky magazine covers have promised it will.

3. Tibet and Taiwan and the Uighurs and Other Dissidents Hate Them For a Reason. Despite my high school analogies, people aren’t hating on China just because they’re the new industrialized power on the stage. They hate them for legitimate reasons. Tibet has suffered mightily since China first set their sights on them, and China’s latest tactic (encouraging Han Chinese to migrate to Tibet, to eventually overpopulate the native Tibetans…and their complaints) might be the world’s only case of population growth as displacement. Except that it isn’t the world’s only case because they’re doing the exact same thing in Taiwan, another country that is desperate not to become the next Hong Kong.

Then there’s the case of how they treat their own people, from the Muslim Uighurs to the millions of political dissidents, the outlook isn’t good if get arrested in China…for any reason. [Not to mention the hundreds of millions being poisoned by pollution, and I don’t mean U.S. pollution, I’m talking about they literally dump tons of toxic sludge in people’s backyards.] In fact, many wonder if even Bo Xilai (the high ranking member of the ruling party that has seen several “scandals” about him crop up out of thin air in recent months) isn’t being set up by the country’s out-of-control security agency.

The bottom line is that many Americans aren’t crazy about The Patriot Act or taking off their shoes at airport security and drone attacks, and I totally get that. But when they bitch and moan about how corrupt, immoral, and out of control Washington D.C. is, I’d like to now point them to a government that really is. In fact, the next time a Tea Partier accuses Obama of being Hitler because he’s imposing a tiny tax increase on the rich, I’d advise taking a trip to China…and perhaps making it oneway. See how bad the current world power really is compared to “the next one.”