Larger Editorial: Republicans, Why Self-Hating Governments Can’t Be Effective

“Republicans have a great gambit. They run on the promise that government is ineffective and then they get in there and prove it”–Bill Maher

Republicans hate government. They hate the regulations it imposes. They hate the taxes it draws to keep the country running. If you’re Ron Paul, you even hate that government forces you to allow black people in your restaurant. [This GOP candidate for President says he wouldn’t have fought the Civil War to end slavery, wouldn’t have voted for the Civil Rights Act that ended segregation, that flood victims in Mississippi should build their own levees, and would abolish the Department of Education. Damn, what a populist.]

Instead Republicans have unwavering support in the Free Market systems that would more “efficiently” sort any and every problem. Public schools aren’t working? Just get rid of their budget and give it all away in private school vouchers. Environmental Protection Agency, FDA, and SEC aren’t effective regulators in their markets? Instead of doubling down efforts, just get rid of all those agencies and let those industries regulate themselves. Why give out any medicaid or medicare money at all when you can just privatize those into private insurance companies that already don’t work?

Those sound like terrible ideas to me, but strip away all the rabble rousing of gay marriage and that basically is the GOP platform. Ron Paul even said the almighty God of the free market could have more effectively sorted out slavery/segregation than the government getting involved…although it wasn’t able to end it in the hundreds of years until the government got involved.

Republicans have as much respect for government as Tom Cruise does for therapists. Question is, how can they possibly be good at government work with that kind of attitude? Until now, their answer has been “simple, we just want to reduce the government as much as possible, eliminate it whenever we can, and sell off the pieces to private companies.” You might notice they don’t say this much on the campaign trail.

The kind of attitude that says government is always incompetent, inefficient, and impossible to manage (which sounds more like one of the mega-banks that’s too big to fail that lead the Republican’s sacred cow of free markets) is almost like wish fulfillment when it comes time to govern. If all you can think of are ways to reduce or eliminate government, you aren’t thinking of common sense solutions to real problems.

To use a metaphor fiscal conservatives can understand: If you were the CEO of Coca Cola, but hated the product, hated everything about it, and really believed the best way to manage it was to sell it off to Pepsi, how good could you be at that job? Would you hang in there for decades like an incumbent politician in the GOP or would you be shit canned by next quarter?

To use a metaphor social conservatives (the party’s majority voters) can understand: You have a car that needs a new muffler, you go to a mechanic you like, and he says “Well, the best thing to do is just completely get rid of this piece of shit car, walk home from here, and hope private industry gives you a ride home.” Wouldn’t you go somewhere else to get that muffler fixed? Let me suggest the Democrat Dealership across the street.