How Did I Do on Last Year’s New Year’s Resolutions

By | December 30, 2012

On January 8th, I posted a Sunday’s Sermon about my resolutions for 2012, calling it “New Year’s Revolution,” and getting all pumped about all the things I was going to give up in the brave new wonderful known as 2012, the year some of us thought the world might end. [I guess I figured it wouldn’t matter if I kept them or not, no one would be around at the end of the year to tsk-tsk at me.] So how did I do?…Uhhh…One out of ten ain’t bad?


What I Said Then: “1. No sodas–When you grow up in the Southeast, you might develop a pretty strong addiction to all things soda, it being the Coca Cola capital of the world. What you might also develop are ulcers, which is what I have, and have decided I’m way too young to have, so, I’m dropping Coke. I list it as most important, because it’s perhaps the only one that directly affects my health. Although of course they do less directly.” Verdict: Shit, shit, shit…I failed this one, like, St. Patty’s Day. Although there were occasional months where I gave up soda, and felt instantly better, I didn’t stick to this one very long.

What I Said Then: “2. No Desserts–Also, Alabama is a prominent part of “The Diabetes Belt” and most residents think nothing of indulging in more than our fair share of desserts. I’ve added this one and it includes EVERYthing most people would want to eat: Cookies, ice cream (my particular favorite), pies, cakes, candy bars, general candy, cinnamon rolls, etc. If you think it’s a dessert, it’s probably on here. Something tells me this will be the toughest one…and I know first hand because I almost did it last year before folding in October. This could be the year to go all the way, but so far it feels like I’ll be lucky to get to October before quitting.” Verdict: LOL…man, I had some crazy dreams the day I wrote this.

What I Said Then: “3. No (knowing) High Fructose Corn Syrup–I’m trying to forgo anything with high fructose corn syrup, but it’s in so many things I might not know if it’s in something I’ve had already. So I can’t eat anything I purposely KNOW it’s in, and I (hope) I don’t cheat by refusing to look at any labels for the rest of the year.” Verdict: I stuck by this one…because I refused to look at labeling after a couple months. As far as I was concerned, it was Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell about this crystal meth of the food world.

What I Said Then: “4. No Fried Foods–This one won’t last, but it’s fun to put on here.” Verdict: It didn’t last, but it wasn’t a huge fail either. I bet I’ve only eaten fried foods on a dozen occasions this year, and that’s way down from usual. Of course, I seemed to make up for it by intaking double the soda and desserts so it wasn’t a total success either.

What I Said Then: “5. No Alcohol–This one will last, so I have it as a safety in case nothing else works.” Verdict: Except for accidentally taking one sip of an alcoholic drink, this one was successful.

What I Said Then: “6. No Pork–This one also won’t last, but I’m going strong so far.” Verdict: Didn’t last…Didn’t make it to Valentine’s Day.

What I Said Then: “7. No red meat–This is the one I can almost bet will be broken first as I’m already wanting a steak, so if I get to Valentine’s Day with this one, I’ll consider it a success.” Verdict: Sigh…

What I Said Then: “8. No Fast Food–“But how will The Fast Food Critic go on?” Well that’s a great question and I haven’t thought out that far ahead. Maybe I can just keep reviewing things that aren’t technically fast food like Chipotle or Boston Market or maybe I can string out this year with fast foods I’ve already eaten but never reviewed before or maybe I’ll break, but I want to keep this one. I’ll try to figure out a way to not break this one but also keep the segment going, and welcome suggestions from the two people still reading this.” Verdict: Not a success but not a huge fail either. Only had fast food a handful of times, and usually it was (you guessed it) to review something for The Fast Food Critic.

What I Said Then: “9. No Facebook–This one might sound weird after 8 that were solely about food but after your body gets clear, your mind feels clear as well. I don’t want to waste that clarity with two hours of daily Facebook where the most I’m learning is that someone I haven’t spoken to since high school (if I ever spoke to them then) had a baby. Plus, my time on Facebook never seemed to make any amount of difference in traffic to the site, so there’s no benefit in it. Unlike Twitter where people do seem to come from, and I attribute it to Twitter being more information based, while Facebook is more picture based. FB just has its own ecosystem where people don’t seem to leave it once they log on, and so that’s counter-productive to someone like me that’s trying to move them somewhere else.” Verdict: Didn’t last either, but that’s because I joined six weeks before the election to peddle t-shirts mostly, then stuck around six more weeks to shoot the breeze. A time-waste, as always, damn you Zuckerberg!

What I Said Then: “10. Make Books the Central Focus Again–If that sounds vague, that’s because it is, but it basically goes that books have to take center stage. Both my writing of them and reading of them. So far I’ve shattered at least half of that quota, as I read one (ONE!) novel last year and to that I’m ashamed of, but read two so far this year. I plan to start making books a bigger focus on the site as well, and maybe get a “Book of the Month” thing going.” Verdict: Finally, an unqualified success! I went from reading a dozen books to nearly fifty.

So, 2 out of 10 ain’t bad. Well, it is, but who’s really counting? No wise-cracks, most of you wouldn’t even remember this if I hadn’t recapped it.

3 thoughts on “How Did I Do on Last Year’s New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Martha

    This is the year I am sticking to my resolutions, if not diabetes may be in the future. No cokes for me either.

  2. Lauren

    I didn’t even write down any this year – i’m just going to wing it 🙂 looking foward to reading what your 2013 resolutions will be.

  3. Tabsf

    This year all I wanted to do was wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and to get to work early. Verdict: 1/1/13 public holiday, turned off my alarm. 1/2/13 forgot to turn on my alarm. Let’s just say I was brushing my teeth on the way to the bus stop. 1/3/13 – New year’s resolution down the tube.


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