Note: I’ve posted this one years ago, but it felt only right to close out the day of Mom Jokes (the glorious return) with one of my favorites.
A recently-deceased senator’s soul was outside the pearly gates of heaven. A representative from Saint Peter’s office came out to greet him and explain his decision. “You will be given one day in hell and one day in heaven. You will see which one you like better, and then make your choice.”
The senator said “That’s okay, I already know that I want to go to heaven. There’s no need to spend a day in hell.”
The representative said “No. Those are the rules. First you go to hell, then heaven, and then you make your choice.”
So the senator was sent way down into hell. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem all that bad to him. He gets there and all of his friends are there with lots of women, cigars, alcohol, barbecues, fine hotels, and golf courses. He spends the day having a blast.
Then he gets to heaven. There are no politicians there, but he enjoys the day strumming on a harp, floating through the clouds, and enjoying a supremely peaceful day.
Then he goes before the representative. The representative asks “Okay, so which place do you choose?”
The senator says “Well, I can’t believe I’m saying this, and I would never have thought I would choose hell, but I liked hell a little bit better.”
The senator is sent immediately down into hell, and nothing is the same as he remembers it. All of his friends are picking up trash, there are no women, no alcohol, no cigars, and the senator is told he’ll spend eternity doing menial labor with no time off. He said “But what happened? Hell wasn’t like this yesterday.”
The devil says “Yesterday, we were campaigning. Today, you voted.”