A redneck was walking home late one night and noticed a woman in the shadows. “Twenty dollars,” she whispers. Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but he figures “what the heck” it’s only twenty bucks. They’re hiding in the bushes for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Alabama Liberal’s First Annual Underrated Awards! [And the Overrated Awards]
In the past few weeks, it seems like everybody and their brother has had an awards show. The Grammys, the Golden Globes, The Screen Actor’s Guild Awards, The Director’s Guild Awards, the Producer’s Guild Awards, the Teamster’s Best Awards, the Catering Services Awards, etc. And then of course the Oscars. Well fuck that noise. This…
Movie Review: The Oscar Winning Sports Doc “Undefeated”
Last night, Undefeated won the oscar for best documentary. Luckily, I saw it Saturday, and all so I can tell you it should NOT have won…well, maybe not so luckily then… What Works: Judging the film solely on its own merits, it’s a pretty good sports doc about a high school football team in a…
Movie Review: Act of Valor
I was excited to see this movie as it’s proudly touted that it was made with “Active duty Navy Seals” and the director is a former stuntman who should know his way around an action sequence. Well, it turns out that taking hits is a lot easier than staging them in a satisfying way. And…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Red Tails
This movie opened quite a while ago but I just got around to seeing it. Much like Big Miracle, I’m pretty sure everyone who is going to see this movie in theaters already has seen it, but here goes nothing… What Works: This movie about the Tuskegee airmen is obviously well-intentioned, well-crafted, well-acted, and has…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Big Miracle
Few people caught this movie when it opened in early February, but that’s a real shame. I hope they catch this save-the-whales flick when it comes to DVD, although I do think the great Alaska visuals play best on a big screen. What Works: Okay, so right off the bat I was thinking “Who really…
Worst…Oscars…Ever? [General thoughts about Billy Crystal, The Artist, Red Carpet, etc.]
I can’t say tonight’s show was the worst Oscar telecast but its damn sure the worst I’ve watched from start to finish. There were no good surprises (The Artist sweep), a couple bad ones (Meryl over Viola, Undefeated over Paradise Lost 3), and Billy Crystal bringing the house to a yawn with a poor performance…
Entertainment Editorial: Who WILL Win the Oscars and Who SHOULD Win
The Oscars–as anyone who’s watched television or seen a magazine cover recently knows–are exactly a week from right now. This looks to be one of the most boring shows of the last decade as two things from the past make a big comeback: Billy Crystal and silent films. It’s hard to look at the likely…
TV Review: Five Shows Other Critics Love That I Don’t
It happens. Every once and a while a show comes along that most critics love but I don’t “get.” Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s them, but either way there are always at least five or six shows on TV that other critics think are worth watching but I don’t. This list isn’t going to be…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Safe House
I thought this movie would be the rare February thriller that was more than just a decent way to kill two hours. I was wrong. What Works: In a word: Washington. Denzel steals every scene he’s in as a rogue CIA spy with a file full of secrets that people are trying to kill him…
Movie Review: “This Means War” I Spoil This Awful Movie So You Don’t Have to See It
Note: I am GOING to spoil this movie. I am GOING to tell you how it ends and exactly all the ways that ending is a failure. Do not say I didn’t warn you, but you should really thank me as now you don’t have to see this piece of shit to know what happens….
Monday Morning Movie Review: Chronicle
By now everyone in the country should have seen this movie that’s going to, but just in case, I’ll clarify things for you: see it. Don’t wait for DVD. This movie is everything that none of last year’s superhero films were: fresh, intimate, populated with actual characters, and action that won’t put you to sleep….
Movie Review: Journey 2 to the Mysterious Island…The Rock Continues to Creep Me Out
This completely unnecessary sequel—-that shouldn’t actually be a sequel as it doesn’t tie into “Journey to the Center of the Earth” in any real way and the people I saw this movie with didn’t know it was a sequel even after we’d watched the whole thing—-stars The Rock and Vanessa Hudgins and is in 3D…