I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accents sounded Scottish to me, and I approached them and asked, “Hi! Are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot!” So I apologized to them, replying, “I am so very sorry!…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Mom Jokes: Overpopulation…
A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to…
Mom Jokes: My Trip to the Store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally…
Mom Jokes: The Trooper
A North Carolina State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway. He sees a couple in a car parked in the local lovers’ lane with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer…
Movie Review: Is “13 Hours” Cheap?
I went into “13 Hours” fearful I was about to watch a piece of rightwing propaganda designed to make Hillary look bad, but the movie is largely free of politics and just cruddy for different reasons. Perhaps this is why rightwingers who made “American Sniper” and “Lone Survivor” such big hits largely avoided this trip…
Movie Review: Why Did “The 5th Wave” Flop?
“The 5th Wave” may not have done well—at all—at the box office, but I still saw it, so why not review it? What Works: Chloe Grace Moretz is a great actress no matter how bad the movie she’s in, and here she combines some of the best elements from Divergent’s Shailene Woodley (vulnerable, expressive eyes, real-girl…
Movie Review: The Forest
Is “The Forest” a worthy addition to J-Pop horror? Well…yes and no… What Works: Having a horror movie set in the loony world of Japanese suicide culture is a strong idea, and the second half of the film that actually takes place in the infamous suicide forest works really well. Plus, Natalie Dormer makes a smooth transition from…
TV Review: Can Rebooted “X-Files” Win Over a New Fan?
So a small caveat before we begin: I’ve never seen an episode of the original “X-Files.” But I have seen both movies, which is either a good thing (the first one) or a bad one (the sequel) depending on whether you stopped after the original. Still, the question remains: “Is the reboot enjoyable for relatively-new fans to…
Is TBS on to Something By Showing All of “Angie Tribeca” in One Day?
Cable networks are getting increasingly jealous of the streaming platforms (Netflix, Amazon) putting all of their shows online at once and hogging all the attention, so it was perhaps inevitable that they’d find ways around this. Last year, NBC put the entire first season of “Aquarius” On Demand at the same time (I guess so…
Movie Review: Why “Spotlight” is the Best Film of the Year
I know, I know, you’re thinking “but you said ‘The Revenant’ was best of the year only a few hours ago?” But “Spotlight” shares the top spot this year, as I think both movies are truly something special. And I never got around to reviewing “Spotlight” when I saw it last year, and that’s because…
Movie Review: Why “The Revenant” is the Best Movie of the Year
Actually, “The Revenant” is tied with “Spotlight” for best movie of 2015, and either one would make a great choice for Best Picture. Right now, “The Revenant” is defying my wildest expectations at the box office, and I never dreamed it would make over 100 million and so many people would get to see it….
Follow-Up: How Did I Do On My “Most Anticipated (and Least Anticipated) Fall Movies” List?
A few months back I posted a list of Most Anticipated and Least Anticipated Fall Movies, and it’s time to see exactly how well I predicted which movies were worth anticipating… The Ten Least Anticipated Movies… 10. I Saw the Light…Right or Wrong? Wellllllll…the movie was bumped from an Oscar-prime slot in late Fall until…
Movie Review: “Joy” and “The Hateful Eight”
Two movies that have absolutely nothing in common with each other, but I didn’t think either was buzzed about right now to get its own review. I semi-reviewed them in the “Every Movie I’ve Seen in 2015” list, and gave both of them grades, but this is a few words on why… The Hateful Eight…Reviews…