I hate this “movie” which is really just an excuse to make money on top of money. First they make money by selling tickets to people but also the film practically pays for itself by some of the most obvious product placement I’ve ever seen in a major film. Justin Timberlake’s “character” in this extended…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Movie Review: Zookeeper
The best thing I can say for Zookeeper is that I didn’t hate it. I don’t know what it says about me that I know Zookeeper sucks but I still found myself thinking it was as good as any of the other movies I’m reviewing today. Although Captain America, The Devil’s Double, and Friends with…
TV Review: Breaking Bad
This review only covers the first episode of season 4 but Breaking Bad is my personal favorite TV show currently on the air right now (not so stiff competition as the heyday of The Sopranos, The Shield, The Wire, Deadwood, Damages, Rome, and Lost are over) so I feel I had to weigh in sooner…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Harry Potter End Game
Harry Potter is the only movie where you’ll find screaming kids and grown men saying “fuck” at the top of their lungs because they can’t get a better seat. The theater I saw it in started leaking heavily during the climax–making it feel like I was watching it in the middle of a rainfall–and no…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Horrible Bosses
I want to say right off the bat that I like this movie. I want that to be crystal clear because the review for it might seem like I don’t like it. So just to get that out of the way, the movie is pretty good, very enjoyable, and a solid B+…now let’s get into…
Mom Jokes: Catholic Heart Attack
Catholic Heart Attack A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the…
TV Review: True Blood, the Worst Show on TV That Critics Won’t Turn Against
That title doesn’t mean that I think True Blood is actually the worst show on TV. [I have seen the 9th circle of hell that is Basketball Wives or anything else on VH1, Bravo, or MTV]. It’s not even the worst show on TV that critics like (I’m lost to the appeal of Showtime’s “Mischievous…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: A Better Life
Even in the summertime a small independent film with no well known actors and a complete lack of special effects can sneak into theaters, cross your radar, and floor you. A Better Life is one of those movies. It’s not a perfect film but it’s one of the best two or three movies I’ve seen…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Cars 2, Crawl Don’t Run to the Theater
The unnecessary sequel is a necessary staple of summertime moviegoing (as I’ve already pointed out in reviews for Pirates 4, Transformers 3, Hangover 2, etc.) but that doesn’t mean you have to like it. No sooner did I waste three hours of my life watching Transformers 3 did I go watch Cars 2, a significantly…
Mom Jokes
An old guy not in the best of shape was working out in the gym when he spotted a sexy and beautiful young woman. He asked the nearby trainer, “What machine should I use in here to impress that cute young thing over there with the great body?” The trainer looked him up and down…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Transformers 3
What can you even say about a Transformers movie? “It’s there” is about the nicest thing. Michael Bay is such a special needs director that you feel like giving him a passing grade just for turning in a movie on time (his signature 4th of July slot) and letting him finally graduate so you don’t…
Movie Review: Bad Teacher
It’s not often a movie is brave enough to put the word “bad” in its title. Rarer still is the one that has an obnoxious advertising campaign, a script that’s short on laughs, and the most unlikable lead character I’ve seen in a movie this year…yet still manages to get me to go against my…
Entertainment Editorial: Drive In Movies
I try something the site never has before with this item: nostalgia. I can still remember the first time I went to a drive in theater. It was the Summer of 1996 and the Drive In had just opened–this was before the traditional movie theater went bankrupt and used as a squatter building for meth…