Like all the best kid’s films, Hugo isn’t really for kids. To say it’s the best movie ever made about an orphan and a forgotten director in a Parisian train station is probably an understatement. Of all the movies I’m reviewing today, this is without a doubt the one I would recommend, and yet Hugo…
Category: Mindless Mondays
“Movie” Review: Twilight, Breaking Dawn Part 1
That title is either a threat or a promise depending on who you are, and for me it’s most definitely a threat. I’ve been as patient as anyone possibly could be with the Twilight films (I actually liked parts of the first and third ones) but this fourth installment is a real turd. So far,…
Movie Review: The Muppets Do Thanksgiving
I have no idea what the actual title for The Muppets movie I saw this weekend is, but I know it involves them and opened on Thanksgiving so that’s close enough. This movie defied my expectations by not sucking. I know that sounds like a hell of a backhanded compliment, and is, but I found…
Movie Reviews: Arthur Christmas
Of the three family friendly movies that opened on Thanksgiving weekend, this one is by far the weakest. That’s not necessarily as bad as it sounds (I would take this movie over Jack and Jill and Twilight any day) but it’s still not a good thing either. What Works: The whole idea of a technologically…
Movie Review: The Immortals
Obviously, this movie is nice to look at and has a weak story. I doubt anyone even needs to tell you that before you go into it. What they might not tell you though, is that there’s really no need to watch this movie. Most of the best visuals are in the trailer, so you…
Mom Jokes: Thanksgiving
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. “Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each…
TV Reviews: HBO’s Hung, How To Make It In America, Enlightened, and Bored to Death
So right now HBO has no fewer than four half-hour comedy shows currently winding up their seasons as small reminders not to cancel your subscriptions to the network. The network’s current bread and butter are big ticket dramas like True Blood, Game of Thrones, and the also-in-season Boardwalk Empire and so it’s doubtful anyone will…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: J. Edgar
Regular readers know that not all movies are created equal even before you see them. There’s just no denying that I look forward to some movies more than others, and even though a movie I think will be bad can surprise me, it probably won’t. So for every three Jack and Jills, there’s usually one…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Happy Feet 2
It is what it is. A shamelessly “cute” movie about dancing/singing penguins that no one will remember in a year’s time. Since the movie also didn’t do much at this weekend’s box office, I think we’re looking at the last of the Happy Feet franchise films and that’s probably for the best. What Works: Some…
Movie Review: Jack and Jill
This movie sucks. What Works: Virtually nothing. Al Pacino’s so-embarassing-it’s-hilarious turn as a version of himself is entertaining in its delirious kamikaze glory (the man is seriously hellbent on destroying his reputation) but after a while you just feel depressed for laughing at (not with) this once-great actor. What Doesn’t Work: This is an easy…
Movie Review: Like Crazy
This movie has stirred up a minor storm in the indie world in the past few weeks. It’s the story of two young college students (Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones) who fall in love quickly but have different struggles trying to stay together, including a long distance part of the movie where she’s in her…
Movie Review: Elite Squad: The Enemy Within
This is a Brazilian movie that came out there a few months back and became the highest grossing South American film ever. I’m just now catching up with this well-made crime drama but, let’s be honest, this movie wasn’t exactly at the top of your list for movies you’re waiting to read about. So I’ll…
Mom Joke: Three Quick Marriage Jokes
A man goes to a shrink and says, ‘Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?’ ‘Relax,’ says the Doctor, ‘take a deep breath and calm…