And capping our independent film day comes this movie that maybe isn’t so independent as it got a wide release back in December and has done decent business at the box office. Mostly because people are connecting to Michelle Williams’s excellent portrayal of Marilyn Monroe. What Works: Michelle Williams. She’s this movie’s selling point and…
Category: Mindless Mondays
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Pariah
Rolling on along with our independent movie day comes another film in (very) limited release. It’s called Pariah and is the story of a young black lesbian struggling to find love in Brooklyn even though her very religious mother (played by Kim Wayans in a dramatic role) doesn’t approve at all. What Works: Kim Wayans…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: In the Land of Blood and Honey
For those that haven’t heard of this move, or have and don’t remember it, this is Angelina Jolie’s directorial debut and it takes place during the Bosnian War. It’s almost impossible to really talk about this movie without also talking about Jolie herself as you can bet NOBODY would be talking about it if Jolie…
Mom Jokes: Quick Hits
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt. Do you think I should change dentists?…
Entertainment Editorial: I Pick The Oscar Nominations
It’s that time of year again: the time when America pretends to give a shit about who wins the Oscars, really just watches the red carpet, claps if someone they’ve heard of (like Sandra Bullock) wins, and largely just goes back to watching Transformers and pretending it’s a good movie. With that, I’d like to…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Contraband
Anyone can take one look at this Mark Wahlberg thriller (dumped into the Friday the 13th slot in mid-JANUARY no less) and tell it’s going to be generic. They can listen to some random thug threaten his wife and Wahlberg scowl “Don’t you ever talk about my wife. You go near my kids, I’ll kill…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Carnage
Most of you haven’t heard of this film (and probably won’t be too inclined to look it up after this review) but it’s a small, scratch that, VERY small film that stars Jodie Foster, John C. Rielly, Christoph Waltz, and Kate Winslet as dueling sets of parents who get into it when their sons get…
Mom Joke: How’s Norma?
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said,”I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the patient?” The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.” The operator replied, “Let…
Entertainment Editorial: I Go to The Metropolitan Opera’s Hansel and Gretel
That may be one of the most awkward titles the site’s ever come up with but there’s no great way to say “hey, I just got back from The Opera” without really saying “Hey, I want you to think I’m pretentious and take my lunch money.” The Metropolitan Opera is an amazing experience, but since…
Movie Review: War Horse
After seeing this movie occupying a low spot on my best of the year list, many already know I like it. Still, let’s review it for shits and giggles. What Works: The last third of this movie really, really delivers. Some of the sequences are so beautiful, I thought this movie was a worthy successor…
Movie Review: The Darkest Hour
This alien invasion movie is lucky I didn’t see it before I made my “Worst of the Year” list because it undoubtedly would have been on it. The Darkest Hour is like any other generic “Aliens are invading!” movie you’ve ever seen except that it’s set in Moscow (and I would be amazed if it…
Movie Review: Shame
I ranked this movie about a Manhattan sex addict as one of the best twenty I saw last year, and that might have been too generous, but I still think it’s worth watching (as long as you’re not with your parents). What Works: Carey Mulligan–too often Michelle Williams’s sleep walking sister–gives the most alive performance…
Movie Review: New Year’s Eve
This movie is dog shit. I hate to start off the new year with such a bad movie, but here it is. [I’m using today to clear out some of the movies that I technically saw last year but haven’t gotten around to reviewing yet.] What Works: Nothing. This movie is one of the absolute…