It comes pretty close to being a halfway watchable heist noir, but something just never quite comes together. It has all the lyrics right, but you can’t feel the music. Prime example: the movie has a great cast, but never really does anything with them. What Works: Any movie that stars Chiwetel Ejiofor, Woody Harrelson, Anthony…
Category: Monday Morning Movie Reviewer
Movie Review: Deadpool
Not as good a movie as the great reviews or ecstatic box office would suggest, but still a pretty decent time for the 50 or so people who haven’t seen it yet. What Works: It has the best beginning for a movie (so far) this year, as we’re treated to a slow motion fallout from a…
Movie Review: Zoolander 2
Who cares about this movie? I get that Ben Stiller was forced to come up with something now that his franchises are stalling out—Meet the Parents ended, Night at the Museum ended, Madagascar can’t go on forever—but “Zoolander 2” won’t be it. The only thing more predictable than the movie itself is that it was…
Movie Review: Kung Fu Panda 3
I actually love this franchise, and it’s one of the few film series that I don’t mind sitting through unnecessary sequels for. I knew it wasn’t a great sign that the studio decided to put this in January, a traditional dumping ground for movies that aren’t worth watching in more competitive times, but it’s still a lot better than…
Review: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2 “Sword of Destiny”
I was surprised at how terrible this movie is. Since the first “Crouching Tiger” movie came out more than 15 years ago, you would probably think a “sequel” would either have to be 1. So good that it justified a sequel OR 2. An obvious cash-register raider just trying to milk a dead franchise. Well,…
Movie Review: Monster Hunt
Having a “China” day with new reviews of this Chinese oddity, plus the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon sequel, and Kung Fu Panda 3. I’ll also try to throw up some other reviews during the week since the entertainment section has been a little neglected lately… What Works: This was a massive hit in China, which maybe…
Movie Review: Why Did “The 5th Wave” Flop?
“The 5th Wave” may not have done well—at all—at the box office, but I still saw it, so why not review it? What Works: Chloe Grace Moretz is a great actress no matter how bad the movie she’s in, and here she combines some of the best elements from Divergent’s Shailene Woodley (vulnerable, expressive eyes, real-girl…
Movie Review: The Forest
Is “The Forest” a worthy addition to J-Pop horror? Well…yes and no… What Works: Having a horror movie set in the loony world of Japanese suicide culture is a strong idea, and the second half of the film that actually takes place in the infamous suicide forest works really well. Plus, Natalie Dormer makes a smooth transition from…
Movie Review: Why “Spotlight” is the Best Film of the Year
I know, I know, you’re thinking “but you said ‘The Revenant’ was best of the year only a few hours ago?” But “Spotlight” shares the top spot this year, as I think both movies are truly something special. And I never got around to reviewing “Spotlight” when I saw it last year, and that’s because…
Movie Review: Why “The Revenant” is the Best Movie of the Year
Actually, “The Revenant” is tied with “Spotlight” for best movie of 2015, and either one would make a great choice for Best Picture. Right now, “The Revenant” is defying my wildest expectations at the box office, and I never dreamed it would make over 100 million and so many people would get to see it….
Movie Review: “Joy” and “The Hateful Eight”
Two movies that have absolutely nothing in common with each other, but I didn’t think either was buzzed about right now to get its own review. I semi-reviewed them in the “Every Movie I’ve Seen in 2015” list, and gave both of them grades, but this is a few words on why… The Hateful Eight…Reviews…
Movie Review: “The Big Short,” “Concussion,” and “Carol”
Is it wrong to lump three heavy-hitter Oscar-courting films into the same review? Maybe so, and especially since “Big Short” and “Carol” could easily be nominated for Best Picture come Thursday, but the truth of the matter is that I just didn’t love them as much as I wanted to, and I couldn’t get excited…
Movie Reviews: “Selfless,” “Time Out of Mind,” and “The Hunting Ground”
Three films I just didn’t have time to formally review before my end of the year movie list. Selfless…The movie should be better than it is—it’s about an aging billionaire (Ben Kingsley) who undergoes a surgery to take the body of a young man (Ryan Reynolds) with a company that is shadier than they first appear—but, then…