It’s a weird commentary on the times we live in where the site’s most controversial opinion of the week might be denying the existence of sex addiction. You think Democrats eat their young politicians instead of building them up? Alright. You think working at Wal-Mart sucks? Well who could argue with that. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are unhealthy? Hold the phone now…
Still, Bubba has been in many debates with people who swear up and down that sex addiction is a real disease and that I’m mocking people as “sick” as alcoholics or drug addicts. Well, Bubba may not have a psychology degree from such a prestigious institution as Phoenix University but I do know that if my girlfriend came home covered in another guy’s scent (as an avid deer hunter, I have been trained to pick up pheromones) and her excuse was that she just couldn’t control herself, I don’t think that would fly too well. In fact, I think I would say “Well, that is more or less EVERYONE’S reason for cheating.”
In a very way, everyone has sex addiction. As only somewhat sophisticated animals, humans are programmed to want three things: food, water, and sex, and if we can get some shelter on top of that we’re doing good. Sex is in the core three group of things you need, so how can you be addicted to it? Having sex addiction is like having “I don’t want to starve to death addiction.”
So then the psychologists define sex addiction as “A person wanting to have sex with everything,” uhhhh, check, that’s more or less known as an XY chromosome. They then go further trying to persuade saying, “A sex addict is unable to maintain a relationship because of his or her sexual desire to be with other people,” uhhhh, also check. Oh my God, I’m a sex addict!
The whole idea of sexual addiction comes from the false notion that all human beings have to be monogamous their entire lives. Well they don’t, there are those of us like Bubba who can tolerate being held prisoner–I’ve served three sentences in the county lockup and it wasn’t so bad–and then there are others who are just not suited for marriage at all. Because society has run wild with the puritan notion that if you want to have sex with multiple people outside your relationship, there must be something wrong with you, we have labeled people naturally experiencing their animal instincts as “sex addicts.” It’s completely backwards. In fact, I’m getting a bit thirsty just talking about all this sex. But there must be something wrong with my body’s biological process to tell me I need water. Really, I’m just a “water addict,” and need to go to a support group…if I don’t collapse in a dehydrated heap first.
Good line………