With all the hullabaloo about gay marriage, I feel it’s time for Bubba to take a more traditional stance: firmly in favor of green card marriage. After all, marriage should be between a desperate, impoverished woman with no options, hellbent on staying in a first world country and a socially retarded man unable to get sex with a naturalized woman of equal attractiveness. Of course, there’s also illegal men marrying American women but Bubba doesn’t endorse it, having a deep love of double standards.
Now you might be thinking “Well sure Bubba, I wouldn’t mind marrying an illegal immigrant due to Alabama’s new bat shit immigration laws, but how do I get the glamorous life of a green card marriage?” Well I’ll tell you in an easy three step plan. 1. Find an illegal immigrant. 2. Ask them to marry you. 3. Marry her.
You can skip all that bullshit “getting to know you” business (i.e. dating) and get right down to brass tactics. A very romantic conversation is likely to flow from there. Illegal Immigrant: “Are you a citizen and breathing?” You: “Yes.” Illegal Immigrant (let’s visualize Salma Hayek but prepare for Ugly Betty): “Then I accept your proposal.” You will also need to account that her dialogue could be in Spanish, so keep a dictionary handy. [It could also be in French or Italian but I don’t think too many European models are getting deported these days].
Once married, you and your beautiful, tottttttally naturalized wife can enjoy all kinds of fun activities together like watching shows in a language she can’t understand or eating dinner in silence or staring at each other or maybe even sex! What’s that dear reader? Sign you up?
Funny…a little wrong, but funny lol
Hey arranged marriages work for 50% of the world – why not!