In one of the craziest stories in recent memory, an Al-Qaeda linked group in Somalia (Al Shabab…and I’m as surprised as you that I took the time to look that up) set up a Twitter account. A quick search on “Al Qaeda Twitter Account” will catch you up to speed on this story…no need to read the articles, I just read a couple headlines. I like to stay as free as I can from liberal media bias, so I avoid any and all information.
Anyway, they posted stuff like the dead body of a French commando they had killed———-although, really, what’s there to brag about? who hasn’t killed a French commando? you could tell them their favorite restaurant ran out of wine and they’d die of offended sensibilities———-and also some threats of killing Kenyan hostages. You know, some real light reading….
Then Twitter took the account down, and they denounced it as Western censorship, and proof that we’re not really as free as we claim. Although, to be fair, I’m pretty sure no one is allowed to post pictures of people they recently killed…just a hunch, might have to check the exact rules on that one.
But before their account got deleted, I managed to hack it…
First, I craftily figured out their password (camelfucker2) and email address (firstname.lastname@example.org). Then I was able to look at some of the private messages they sent each other.
Stuff like “Mohammed Bin Abdullah is enjoying a turkey sandwich” followed by a picture of a turkey sandwich. Then Khalid Talbani wrote “mmmm, looks good. I’m having humus.”
Then there was a Twit pic of Omar Shabab’s third wife’s ass, with the caption “does somebody need to lay off the humus?” Then the response “lol…dat bitch is fat.”
It turns out that some of the most fearsome terrorists in the world are no better than mean girls. They crack on each other’s wives, and often mock Hamid Khan for his inane tweets about the new, very big gun he bought. In the words of Nasreen Khan, his estranged second wife, “we all know what he’s over-compensating for.”
Ohhhh snap. But it’s not all mean spirited. There was actually a very lovely group picture of the Shabab Lieutenants standing over a kidnapped oil contractor, with the caption “Group Hang in Mogadishu.” Omar brought falafels and everyone appeared to be having a good time.