What’s it like to be from a state where you might occasionally get mentioned in the national news for something positive? Other people probably see their home state trending on twitter and think “Cool, I can’t wait to see what it’s about!” But Alabamians know all too well it won’t be for something positive, and we just hope it’s not for a hate crime. And, lucky us, this time it’s practically a relief what the “scandal” actually is…
This past week brought Alabama into the national spotlight for something that is–naturally–about it’s beyond dysfunctional state government and is also–naturally–not very positive. Our esteemed Christian Governor Bentley has been outed as (at the very least) having phone sex with a young woman who worked for him. He claims they never had a sexual relationship, but it’s kind-of hard to hear a phone recording where he’s clearly talking about grabbing her breasts as just a mammogram.
Although Bently is a former dermatologist, so he is medically qualified to check her skin for weird growths. I mean, I’m sure that’s what this is all about, right? Right?!
Anyway, as bad as this looks for him, it’s also worth noting that things could be a hell of a lot worse. I mean, just look at what some of the other Republican governors are in the news for: North Carolina’s Asshole-in-Chief Pat McCrory passed an extremely bigoted anti-gay bill. Indiana’s Governor just passed a draconian anti-abortion bill that is practically begging the Supreme Court to throw it out. And Michigan’s Rick Synder still poisoned Flint in case you forgot. Also, Georgia’s state “lawmakers” also voted in their own version of NC’s anti-gay bill, and it’s up to their not-so-honorable Governor to veto it or it could cost Georgia billions in Hollywood productions threatening to leave the state, corporations threatening the same, and even the NFL threatening not to hold future Super-Bowls there. When the NFL is strong-arming you into being more liberal on LGBT rights, something is wrong.
So sure, Bently is embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as almost every other Republican out there. In fact, a sex scandal is vastly preferable to anti-women, anti-gay, or anti-clean-water policies that are actually destroying states.