Of all the new “movie stars” in the last decade that make no sense to me (Vin Diesel, Ludacris, hell, the entire Fast and Furious cast) the one that makes the least sense is Russell Brand. This guy is supposed–supposed to being the key word–be this hard partying, R rated, boundary pushing asshole, but the…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Scream 4: Give Us Your Money Suckers
As you’ve no doubt figured out by now, this Monday Morning Movie Critic day is the garbage bin for movies I watched weeks ago but didn’t write up until now. And in that perpetual garbage bin, where would we be without a horror sequel no one wanted or was asking for. What Works: The opening…
Water For Elephants=Sleep for Humans
This move opened almost (gasp) three weeks ago and has pretty much died on impact ever since. However, I sat through it so I think a post-mortem is only fair. What It Does Right: There’s just something about the circus that brings out the inner magic in all of us (even if movies about the…
Now What? (Life Post-Grad): America’s Next Top Sucker
By now articles saying reality TV is the downfall of Western civilization are as redundant as they are true, but there’s a phenomenon few people mention when talking about reality TV. The entire premise of the genre is that a seemingly unqualified bum off the street can rise to great heights—I pointed out that this…
The Fast Food Critic: Pizza Hut’s Ultimate Stuffed Crust Pizza
As I mentioned way back as rule 1 of eating unhealthy: If something has more than a handful of words (think So&So’s bacon ranch chicken cheesy poppers) it almost definitely isn’t healthy. You don’t need more than that to say “Caesar” and “Salad” or even “sandwich.” So today brings Pizza Hut’s Ultimate Stuffed Crust Pizza,…
Working Class Economist: Drinking at Home, No Longer for Alcoholics
This item is about the money you can save drinking at home instead of at a bar. I’ll keep this brief because, let’s be honest, if you’re interested in reading an article solely about the price of bar drinks you might not be on this blog in the first place. By now you know some…
Red State Vs. Blue State: Brody vs. His Mom Face Off On If This Blog is a Waste of Time
Today is a little different on Red State Vs. Blue State as I’m not actually debating politics—instead we’re debating if this blog is a waste of time—and I am also debating a regular contributor to the site (mom from, you guessed it, mom jokes). Also, she’s coming back for an interview, making another Alabama Liberal…
Down & Out in Bumblefuck: The Rural News Covers Obesity
A new obesity statistic says Alabama might be closing in on Mississippi for the illustrious title of “Fattest State in the Nation.” Except for alphabetical order, obese adults would be the only thing Alabama would rank first in. Book after book has been written about America’s obesity epidemic (anything by Michael Pollen is a personal…
Entertainment Editorial: No Sympathy for the Devil, Have PG-13 Rated Horror Movies Become Scarier?
Despite the laundry list of rules horror movies like Scream tell us there are, there really are only three: 1. Hot women, black guys, and older cops don’t fare so well, 2. The best person to be is a little kid, since Hollywood executives typically don’t let them die even if they might be in…
Mom Jokes: Battle of the Sexes
How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it. What food has been scientifically proven to diminish a woman’s sex drive? A wedding cake. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care. Why is the laundry mat a bad place to pick up women? Because a woman…
Mom Jokes: Resending the Best Joke My Mom Emailed Me That Week
Employee : Excuse me sir, may I talk to you? Boss : Sure, come on in. What can I do for you? Employee : Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years. Boss : Yes. Employee : I won’t beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise….
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Hanna
So I’ve been staying at home the past few weekends instead of plunking down dollars to see Scream: 4, When Two Shitty Sequels Just Aren’t Enough or Tyler Perry’s Jesus and Biscuits. However, I did manage to see this pretty-good, vaguely Euro art house thriller that isn’t so art house. Hanna is about a young…
Sunday’s Sermons: WWJT (What Would Jesus Think about Modern Christianity?)
For the past few weeks we’ve talked about race, but on Easter Sunday it’s only right to refocus on religion. Years ago some ingenious marketer first created the WWJD bracelets. But instead of what he’d do I’m much more drawn to the interesting—but unanswerable—question of “What Would Jesus Think?” Currently in our national debate on…