The last penny A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 pennies to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.. The boy…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Bubba’s Sex Tips: Bubba Goes “Redneck Green”
So last weekend was Earth Day, and today I’d like to talk about it nearly a week after the fact. [What, you expect a redneck to do something before its too late? Hell, I don’t my file my taxes until June, and don’t celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day until…phew…how’s never sound?] Since everyone’s out…
Larger Editorial: Why (Unfortunately) Dick Clark Will Be More Imitated Than Mike Wallace
We’ve lost two icons of media in just as many weeks, but (sadly) the wrong one will leave the much bigger legacy on the pop cultural landscape. When you contrast two figures as stylistically and substantially different as Dick Clark (the New Year’s Eve countdown guy, the guy who paved the way for American Idol,…
Petty Issues: A Rogue’s Gallery of Assholes
Ordinarily in this feature, we like to talk a little about current events and list the Asshole of the Week at the very bottom, but this week, there are just way too many assholes to save it for the very end… Fifth Biggest Asshole This Week: Sarah Palin. No surprise that perennial offender Palin—-who at…
After Being Attacked By a Penguin, Is It Time For Newt Gingrich to Give Up?
So in the fuss to “scandalize” Obama’s secret service detail for doing something in Colombia that everyone who visits Colombia does (pay for sex) and also to ridiculously criticize him for using some tax dollars to travel for his re-election campaign (something every incumbent president has done), the media has overlooked something in the past…
Down & Out in Bumblefuck: The Unsexy Environmental Issue of Garbage
So Earth Day was this past Sunday and it really got me thinking about all of the environmental issues most people ignore on a daily basis (climate crisis, ground soil pollution, and over population to name but a few). But what about the issue that even some environmentalists aren’t that crazy about sermonizing on? You…
Entertainment Editorial: The Ten Summer Movies I’m Looking Most Forward to (and Five I’m Not)
It’s that time of year again, the time when Hollywood rolls out its “best” (i.e. most expensive) movies to assault us all in theaters until we wobble out of the theater reeling from the headache a Transformers movie can provide. Still, the best summer movies are wholly original creations that operate on a much higher…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: 21 Jump Street
After being lukewarm to downright unenthused about all of today’s movies, here comes an honest-to-God crowd pleaser. I may not have been totally in love with this film, but I can recommend it to almost anyone and feel like they’ll have a pretty good time. What Works: The set-up is that two cops who knew…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Bully
Man, this is going to be a hard one to explain… Okay, so this movie is as famous for its ratings battle as it is for the actual content of the movie. For anyone who doesn’t know (and is perhaps not alive on this planet), the film is about bullying kids and received an R-rating…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: American Reunion
Continuing our slog through “high school” or youth based movies today, comes the latest, and supposedly last entry in the American Pie franchise. The good news? It may not be as bad as you were expecting. The bad news? That’s still not the same as saying it’s a good movie. What Worked: It’s one of…
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Cabin in the Woods
I didn’t go for this movie. Sorry, but for Rotten Tomatoes to give this movie a 93% approval rating only shows how flawed that site is for judging “fanboy” movies. [Note: This will include some very vague spoilers. I really doubt anyone hasn’t seen this movie that plans on seeing it, but I figure I’d…
TV Reviews: By Jumping to the Future, Is “Fringe” Getting Its Groove Back?
So last Friday, the show featured its second leap into the future with an episode set in 2036 (hence this post being numbered archives/2036…get it?) and I think the show may have finally re-established its groove and wormed its way back into the hearts (and especially heads) of its devoted sci-fi faithful. What Happened (Spoilers):…
Sunday’s Sermons: The Moral Imperative Behind Earth Day
Reaction to the Title of This Piece: “Geez, every fucking week it’s moral this, moral that…is there any issue that can’t be stretched into a sermon?” Well, not many, but this is a little different. Second reaction: “Isn’t it always a little different?” True, but what if I told you that something The Bible mentions…