This is a perfect example of why you can’t judge a movie by its first ten minutes. Because when I started this film (about, you guessed it, seven psychopaths hanging out in Los Angeles, sometimes killing one another) I really loved the opening moments and general setup. But then, as it kept going, it was…
Author: Alabama Liberal
Monday Morning Movie Review: Smashed
Smashed is an independent film starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead (who always seems right on the cusp of stardom) and Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul (once again playing a likable, vulnerable addict) as a married couple of alcoholics. The movie is advertised as a story of what happens to them as a couple when Winstead decided to…
Movie Review: “Alex Cross”…Exactly as Bad as You’d Think
As a critic, there are just certain movies you look more forward to than others. I can’t say I go into Alex Cross, with the same level of enthusiasm I go into Cloud Atlas with, but that can actually work for a low-expectations movie. If the bar is set low, they can easily jump over…
Movie Review: Here Comes the Boom
Okay, so this movie opened a few weeks back and nobody really cared about it then (it was something of a flop on opening weekend) so I’ll just keep this review nice and trim. Don’t worry though, I have plenty of other reviews coming up later in the day… What Works: This movie (about Kevin…
Mom Jokes: The Pharmacist
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I’d like to buy some cyanide.” The Pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.” The Pharmacist’s eyes grew big and he…
Bubba’s Sex Tips: Bubba’s Sex Quiz
It seems like every magazine for women (or, at least, the kind of women who don’t like to hunt) involves some type of…sex quiz or “What would you do?” orrrrrr “What kind of man would you like?” and so on. Well, as usual, I decide to practice an extreme form of empathy like my good…
Grading the Debate Moderators
As much as people love dissecting the candidates themselves for any little thing, I think it’s just as helpful to grade the moderators. First Debate…Moderated By: Jim Lehrer…What Worked: [Crickets]…What Didn’t: A ton. His performance was widely criticized by almost everyone. And you can’t say it’s just “liberal whining” because Obama lost the debate, conservatives…
Live Blogging Tonight’s Final Debate
9 p.m (Eastern)…The opening 9:02 p.m. …The candidates take the stage, lots of applause. 9:05 p.m. …Libya is the opening question, oh God…Give me a fucking break with this non-issue already. 9:06 p.m. …Romney starts off talking about Libya, enjoy it Mitt, cause I feel like this is your only strong suit tonight in this…
Movie Review: “Butter,” Good Set-Up with Poor Execution
What better low-key indie to review today (the night of the final presidential debate, which I will be writing about during and after it) than Butter, a movie that technically is about the obscure-passion of Iowa butter carving, but is really an allegory about Sarah Palin vs. Obama, and the clash of values between religious…
Monday Morning Movie Review: The Oranges
Okay, so this movie is a microscopic indie that pretty much bombed out in theaters a couple weeks back. [It opened very limited and still had a lousy per-theater average which is all that matters for indies.] And yet…I saw it when it opened and feel compelled to at least throw out a review. What…
Petty Issues: Tagg Romney, Candy Crowley, Iran’s “Reviews” of Argo, and Glenn Beck’s Jeans
At the second presidential debate, Candy Crowley accurately called Mitt Romney out for lying his ass off about Libya, and of course the rightwing jumped all over her for, gasp, being a woman who opens her mouth—-I mean, being a moderator who injects truth into things. I think there needs to be more of this….
Monday Morning Movie Reviewer: Argo
I want to start by saying that this film is very good. I want to start by saying that because the majority of the review will consist of how it isn’t great and may be a slight disappointment if (like me) you loved Ben Affleck’s last two movies: Gone Baby Gone and The Town. What Works: The…
TV Reviews: The Walking Dead, and Arrow
Not a ton of new shows to grade this week (that I didn’t already grade on Thursday) but I thought I would throw up some quick reviews on the CW’s new Arrow and AMC’s return of Walking Dead. Arrow…This just isn’t really my kind of show. Sure, I like superheroes well enough but the CW…