Just when Alabamians thought they would be sitting on the sidelines in this year’s presidential race, watching a race play out between what they view as “President Black Panther” and “Mormon-bot Romney,” an idea started to formulate among restless social conservatives.
They started thinking “Hey, how come we don’t like Romney but he’s going to be the nominee? How come he’s not talking about our issues by turning a legitimate presidential election into a monopolizing sermon on abortion and gay marriage? How come he’s not acting like this is 2004 when the economy was still strong and this is all we cared about?” Much like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, social conservatives proved they “won’t be ignored Electorate.”
And so, based almost solely off the strength of social conservatives, Santorum has jumped to the front of the pack of the GOP race despite having little money, fewer qualifications, and no good ideas of what he would do if he got the presidency. Still, that’s never stopped Republicans before (except for the money part).
Santorum may be the first Catholic in the history of politics to benefit from religious discrimination. [We can now answer the question “Which do evangelicals hate more: Catholics or Mormons?” with “Mormons” in a resounding margin.] People can pretend that this “miracle” is based on anything other than social conservatives just not caring for Romney, but any honest pundit knows different. One in four Republican voters has expressed reservations about a Mormon nominee and those are just the ones willing to say that out loud. Throw in the fact that Romney looks a lot like the guy who foreclosed on most social conservative’s homes and it’s clear why he’s having such a hard time winning over the shit kickers in flyover states.
Unfortunately, most of this country is flyover states. Meaning that even if Mitt wins the nomination, it will take some serious doing before he dos it. I’m talking weeks, I’m talking months, I’m talking right up until the convention if Santorum proves as resilient as Close in Fatal Attraction. For the love of God America, hide your pet rabbits!