If you live in an area that has a Sonic–the drive in themed fast food restaurant where you pull up to an individual speaker, park, and order–you’ve probably seen a commercial for the chain’s new hot dogs that promise to be a “taste of America.” I guess that means that the one hot dog that has a pickle on it is from Chicago and the one covered in chili cheese is from Coney Island. I tend to like my fast food as unhealthy as possible–better a snake that calls itself a snake–so I ordered the chili cheese Coney Island dog which is, you guessed it, chili, cheese, and (I think) tater tot bits on a hot dog.
While You’re Eating It: Delicious. I keep burning my mouth as I try to shovel it in because these things are not worth a damn cold. I morph into Homer Simpson as I lust after the cheese I’m eating.
After You’re Done: Why in the fuck did I eat so much cheese? I feel sick to my stomach…I’m not even sure I’m not allergic to diary products…lucky, that “cheese” might not even be a diary product.
Impotence Level: The salt intake is probably more than you should get in a week but you’ll be too busy feeling queasy to really feel a lack of sex drive from salt.
Heart Attack Level (on a scale of 1 to 5): Probably a 3. I don’t know what it says that pork scrapings fashioned into a hot dog and covered in chili and cheese are somehow more healthy than a lot of items I’ve reviewed but that’s where the bar’s been set.
I hate Sonic except for the drinks. They are great, and the small ice is good.