The 10 Fall Movies I’m Most Looking Forward To (and 5 I’m Not)

Just as surely as the phases of the moon come the Hollywood seasons: grab-bag Spring, brain-dead Summer, and Oscar-bait Fall/early-Winter. [There’s also the dumping ground that is January/February, but that’s a patch I’d rather forget exists.] So now it’s time to look at the (hopefully) best of Fall, the least promising of Fall, and the five I’m not so sure about.

 

My Five Least Anticipated Movies

Runner-Up: A Very Madea Christmas

5. Diana…This Naomi Watts as Princess Diana biopic is getting savage reviews, and maybe, juuuuust maybe it’s because Princess Diana isn’t as interesting as people think.

4. Machete Kills…One day Robert Rodriguez will make a movie that’s supposed to be good, instead of a movie that’s so intentionally bad he hopes it’s good.

3. Baggage Claim…Hollywood’s innovative idea? Take a terrible, generic rom-com formula and put an all-black cast where Katherine Heigl and co. would usually be.

2. Escape Plan…Ah-nuld and Stallone team up. I can’t even pretend to care. [For a Stallone out of retirement movie, I’ll take Grudge Match, with him and De Niro playing very aging boxers.]

1. Carrie and Great Expectations…I’m getting a perverse kick out of pairing these movies together, but whenever people say “I’m so sick of remakes,” they also have to include the ultra-faithful Dickens/Shakespeare remakes too.

 

Five I’m Not So Sure About (in order of least sure to most sure)

Runner-Up: Ender’s Game…Most people are only talking about the book’s author (who made a lot of hateful statements about gay people and gay marriage) which isn’t exactly an indicator that the movie itself is really worth watching.

Also Runner-Up: Labor Day…Jason Reitman has never made a bad movie (Juno, Thank You for Smoking, Young Adult, and the excellent Up in the Air), but this tale of a convict hiding out with Kate Winslet’s single mother/hostage looks more serious (and generic) than what we’re used to seeing from him.

5. Ronin 47…If this bloated fantasy extravaganza is really good, it will be a miracle.

4. The Fifth Estate…Panned at the Toronto film festival, and “We Steal Secrets” the documentary certainly seems to be the better bet for a Julian Assange fix.

3. Jack Ryan…An intelligent thriller for the Christmas season or a more generic version of a character that Harrison Ford/Alec Baldwin have already played? [Chris Pine isn’t exactly a heavy hitter.]

2. Captain Phillips…Paul Greengrass has made some excellent movies (the Bourne Supremacy, United 93) and this film about Somalian pirates trying to hijack an American ship will certainly be tense. BUT will the movie villainize Somalians who are really just responding to Western countries overfishing their waters and poisoning their beaches (destroying all sources of income for them)?

1. 12 Years a Slave…This movie will probably be excellent, and the reviews are rapturous, but even the critics who love it say it’s two hours of terrifying brutality. Not all movies have to be feel-good (I prefer them dark), but can a movie be so bleak that it squeezes out the excitement that dark dramas need?

 

Runner-Up: Nebraska…Alexander Payne makes nothing but great movies (Election, About Schmidt, Sideways, The Descendants), so why am I not more excited about this black-and-white film about an old guy reliving the glory days with his son?

10. Prisoners/Out of the Furnace…Prisoners is supposed to be really good. I guess we’ll see soon enough, but Out of the Furnace is another tale of revenge that should be worth checking out later in the year.

9. The Monument’s Men…I’m sick of WWII movies, but anything George Clooney/Matt Damon/Cate Blanchett/John Goodman are in is worth at least checking out and who isn’t excited to see Bill Murray mix it up with this crew?

8. Hunger Games: Catching Fire…If I have to put a blockbuster on here, I’ll take this over Thor 2. Should be at least as good as the first one, plus the addition of Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

7. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty…Who isn’t rooting for Ben Stiller to make a comeback?

6. The Wolf of Wall Street…Scorsese/DiCaprio team again for this tale of a corrupt Wall Street mogul.

5. Her…Director Spike Jonze has never made a bad movie (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Where the Wild Things Are), and this tale of a near-future where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with his computer will at least be worth checking out.

4. Gravity…The special effects are supposed to be groundbreaking, and the director, Alfonso Cuaron, made one of the best sci-fi movies I’ve ever seen with Children of Men only a few years ago. I can’t imagine missing his follow-up.

3. The Dallas Buyer’s Club…This was number 3 most anticipated movie for Summer, and nothing has changed now that it’s an Oscar bait Fall movie.

2. The Counselor…Michael Fassbender as a drug lawyer in over his head with Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, and Penelope Cruz as cartel players, along with Brad Pitt as a cowboy DEA agent. Legendary author Cormac McCarthy’s first screenplay, and Ridley Scott directing.

1. American Hustle…David O. Russell is on a hot streak, and he’s assembled the best cast of the year (Bradley Cooper, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence, Jeremy Renner, Louis C.K., Robert DeNiro, etc.) to spin a true-story of political corruption and con-men.