Mega Millions is now up to a record jackpot of 400 million (if a single person wins Friday, it’ll be the highest single jackpot in lottery history). The safest bet for the numbers is still 12-14-36-44-52 and 28, but don’t take my word for it, play it…and if those aren’t the right numbers, give me a piece of the pie anyway. If a loyal Alabama Liberal reader wins, feel free to buy one of our new t-shirts…or a thousand of them.
After a search that seemingly included every team in the NFL, the one-time Colts quarterback Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos (who, for their part, ousted Tebow over to the NY Jets), so better luck next time to the fictional-but-they-exist-in-my-imagination Birmingham Bulls.
Despite a nearly two-year hiatus, AMC’s Mad Men returned last Sunday to a series high rating of over four million viewers. In completely coincidental news, NBC green lit two new shows for the Fall, Law and Order: Mad Men Unit and Mad Voice.
Newt Gingrich announced he will scale back his campaign, otherwise known as “I can’t win this damn thing nor continue to pay a full staff, but I…just…can’t…quit…the…spotlight.” This is otherwise known as “Ron Paul Syndrome,” previously known as “Huckabee-itis.”
Asshole of the Week: George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watchman/trigger happy cowboy that killed Florida teen Trayvon Martin for seemingly no reason. First, Zimmerman tried to let on that it was self-defense, despite Trayvon being completely unarmed. Then he said that Trayvon attacked him, despite clear evidence that he had NO blood or injuries when he arrived at the police station. Now his defense team is going about attacking Trayvon’s character, and falling back on the “hoodie” defense (meaning that if you’re wearing a hoodie, you’re automatically up to no good). I don’t find this issue necessarily complex enough to write a seven paragraph editorial, so I’ll just sum it up here: “Zimmerman killed someone. He has no defense. He needs to do the time, period.” I don’t need all the “facts” to come in to know there aren’t many more facts than what we already know, and everything we’ve learned since just makes Zimmerman look worse and worse.