5. You know you’re getting closer to the south as the people at each airport get progressively fatter, and those motorized carts (that are supposed to be used to carry the disabled) are really just used to give rides to fifty/sixty year old fat people that don’t want to walk from terminal A to terminal B. [Or, as I call them, Romney voters that will complain about socialized medicine until they drop dead at Krispy Kreme.]
4. People think college football is important.
3. You can explore the biggest city in the state all day long (going to the movies, malls, restaurants, etc.) and you can count the number of black and white couples you see on both hands. [For an added challenge, limit it to black woman/white man couples.]
2. The dreaded appearance of the worst company on Earth: Charter Communications. Anyone who thinks private business is more efficient than government has clearly never had dealings with Charter Communications. Charter Communications is the Charlotte Bobcats of private industry.
And the top sign you are in the South…
1. You’re driving down the road and get stuck behind a car going as fast as it can (40 mph) in a 65 mph zone. You notice it has a “Stop Pelosi!” bumper sticker, even though this shitbox could fall apart at any moment.
Also, a few miles down the road you see a newer-model SUV with a Romney/Ryan bumper sticker, because, as per Southern law, anyone with an SUV made in this decade has to think they’re uber-rich.