Today is Thanksgiving, which means two things: 1. Most people are off work, which means they get to experience a day of doing whatever they want and getting paid whatever meager wage their company calls “holiday pay” (or, as bloggers call it, Thursday). 2. You probably aren’t looking to read a block of text. It…
Petty Issues: Sure Signs You’re in the South
5. You know you’re getting closer to the south as the people at each airport get progressively fatter, and those motorized carts (that are supposed to be used to carry the disabled) are really just used to give rides to fifty/sixty year old fat people that don’t want to walk from terminal A to terminal…
Grading the Twilight Films from Worst to…Least Worst
Now that the Twilight saga is officially over, the inevitable question surfaces of “What film is the best? And which one is the worst?” [And the word “best” is used as a loose translation of “which one won’t have me on suicide watch after thirty minutes?”] This is all largely a matter of personal taste,…
Movie Review: Twilight Saga: Thank God It’s Over
Twilight, Breaking Dawn: Part II (you know a franchise has gone on too long when you have to classify its sequels into subsections) will be the most divisive movie of the year. Barack vs. Romney, who cares? “Does Twilight suck or is it, like, the best ever?” That’s the real blood sport taking place across…
Movie Review: Skyfall
Skyfall——for the 12 people on Earth that don’t know——is the latest James Bond movie, although, since people don’t seem to remember the titles of these movies, maybe it should just be called “James Bond, 2012 episode.” Skyfall is a really curious case of a movie that works yet doesn’t astound. It has so many great…
Down & Out in Bumblefuck: Does Down & (Refusing to go) Out Ex-Congressman Allen West Have a Plan?
For those that don’t know, Allen West is a congressman from Florida. He’s part of the Tea Party, he’s one of the most aggressively partisan members of the House Republicans, he’s one of only a handful of black Republicans in congress, and he’s a former defense contractor/torturer that makes Herman Cain look like a nice…
Entertainment Editorial: October’s Book of the Month Club Pick Is…Every Day!
Okay, so this October book of the month club pick is royally messed up by Hurricane Sandy. See, the last Monday of the month (my preferred time to list the book of the month) was thwarted by not having a working internet connection. My apologies to readers but maybe I can claim it as an “Act of…
Movie Review: “The Sessions,” A Small Movie with a Big Pay-Off
The Sessions is an independent film many won’t get the chance to see, but they should seek it out if it’s playing in a smaller theater they might not ordinarily go to. It’s the real-life story of a paralyzed, Polio-afflicted poet (John Hawkes, so different here than as the ambiguously menacing uncle in Winter’s Bone,…
Movie Review: The Man with the Iron Fists
This movie isn’t unwatchable, but it is lazy, uninspired, poorly plotted, and——in the end——more than a little bit boring. It’s more of an attitude than a real movie. What Works: Russell Crowe is clearly having a good time (and, unlike the other actors, it doesn’t look fake) as an ambiguous sword fighter whose true allegiances…
Movie Review: “Flight” a Movie that Should Have Been Better
Flight is the perfect example of a movie that has everything going for it: The rare great actor who’s also a movie star (Denzel Washington). A director who’s been around forever (Robert Zemeckis). An ace supporting cast filled with talented character actors (John Goodman, Don Cheadle, Melissa Leo, Bruce Greenwood) and sexy women (Garcelle Beauvais,…
Mom Joke: Will the Senator Choose Heaven or Hell?
A recently-deceased senator’s soul was outside the pearly gates of heaven. A representative from Saint Peter’s office came out to greet him and explain his decision. “You will be given one day in hell and one day in heaven. You will see which one you like better, and then make your choice.” The senator said…
Petty Issues: Post-Election Round Up…Top 5 Asshole Countdown
Basically, we could just do a rogue’s gallery of assholes, and that’s exactly what I want to do. The top 5 assholes of the week are… 5. Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin…This defeated Missouri senate candidate gave one of the most bitter and partisan concession speeches I’ve ever seen. Thank God we won’t have to see…
Obama Wins in a Spectacular Night for the Blue Team! The Revolution Has Officially Arrived!
Obama wins a second term! Consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren goes to the senate! People’s champion Alan Grayson returns to congress! Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin and Murdoch “Rape is God’s Plan” lost! [Yay women of America!] Gay Marriage was popular voted-in (for the first time ever) in Maryland and Maine! Wisconsin elected the first openly gay…