A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver , Colorado , and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to…
Mom Jokes: Winter Windows
Husband texts wife on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen.” Wife texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.” Husband texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely screwed up now.”
Mom Jokes: Weather Update
Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Cape Cod. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look …
Mom Jokes: Dogs Welcome
For the dog lovers… A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in…
A Day of Mom Jokes Begins with “An Accidental Pregnancy”
An 18-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want…
Who Will Win Tonight?
Best Supporting Actor: Tommy Lee Jones Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway Best Director: Steven Spielberg Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence (unfortunately, I don’t think Jessica Chastain can pull it out) Best Picture: Argo So boring…
Movie Review: “Side-Effects,” a Crafty, Shape-Shifting Thriller for Adults
This is the best movie I’ve seen (so far) this year, and even though that isn’t saying much (we’re only six weeks in and this is a notorious dumping ground for most Hollywood movies that would bomb in more competitive time periods) it’s the only one I can really recommend. So basically, I would say…
Movie Review: Identity Thief
I would love to tell you how hi-larious this movie is. I would love to tell you that the laughs started early and never let up, that Bateman/McCarthy have terrific comedic chemistry, and that the schmaltzy third act feels totally earned. However, none of that would be true. This movie exploded at the box office…
Movie Review: Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters
This movie was pretty bad. [And don’t worry, because there will be more timely reviews of Side Effects and Identity Thief later on today.] One of the most interesting parts comes early on when you discover that Will Ferrell is one of the producers…that’s not a good sign. What Works: Occasional flashes of genuine fun…
TV Review: #thewalkingdead (Half)-Season Premiere
AMC continued their bizarre scheduling patterns (like splitting up the final season of Breaking Bad by a year, and having more than a year pass between seasons of Mad Men) by having a half-season premiere of The Walking Dead after a nearly three month hiatus between the 8th and 9th episodes of season 3. I thought…
Alabama Liberal’s 2nd Birthday
The site was started on February 7th, 2011, and I’m a proud father again today as we enter the third year. I won’t get overly nostalgic, but it is worth pointing out. Honestly, it’s survived a lot longer than most blogs, and two full years is especially unusual for small, independent political blogs. Small political…
Live-Blogging the #community Season Premiere (re-tweet it fans)
7:00 p.m. Community is back, and Troy/Abed acknowledge the long break right off the bat. 7:01 p.m. Fred Willard as Pierce, while everyone else gets a traditional sitcom welcome. 7:02 p.m. “Here’s the deal Jessica Biel.”–Britta. Abed is having trouble coping with the fact that this is the beginning of the last year of school….
Petty Issues: #Brennan Faces Scrutiny, #LAPD on the Run, #nyfw, and #CIA
An ex-LAPD officer is on the run after a shooting… Brennan faces scrutiny on the large number of U.S. drone strikes… It’s Fashion Week in New York… And the CIA is (once again) in the news for a kill list. [Something that people on Twitter think is news because, apparently, they retain the ability to…